Some employers offer their employees subsidised membership of gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. •Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate, and reach a conclusion.
#employers #offer #employees #membership #gyms #sports #clubs #staff #work #benefit #•consider #arguments #aspects #debate #conclusion
Some companies offer free subscriptions to gyms and sports clubs to their
employees
, aiming to enrich their mental health
, believing that will help them focus more at work
. While
others do not consider that in their policies because they do not think that benefits. Personally, I fully agree that such
activities are essential to enhance mental health
and improve focusing
at Change the form of the verb
focus
work
.
On the one hand, for
those who do not tend to encourage their Change preposition
apply
employees
to engage in effective activities think that they are wasting time
and money and does
not reflect on individuals productively. Correct subject-verb agreement
do
Moreover
, they think spending more time
working at work
will boost productivity much more. Additionally
, they believe that employees
should not be forced to engage in such
activities, and those who are feeling the need to go to gym
can do that by themselves in their free Add an article
the gym
time
.
On the other hand
, the proponents of the other point of view argue that mental health
is a key part for
concentration at Change preposition
of
work
and dealing with complicated issues. This
view is supported by several studies, which have found that strength
mental Replace the word
strong
health
is necessary at
working environments. Change preposition
in
Furthermore
, such
events maintain strong ties between employers and their employees
, making them more loyal to their institutes.
In conclusion, while
many companies believe that supporting their employees
by offering free memberships of sport
facilities is Change the noun form
sports
benefits
for both Replace the word
beneficial
employees
and work
, other
insist that Fix the agreement mistake
others
such
thing
is just Correct article usage
a thing
waste
of Correct article usage
a waste
time
and money and do
not provide any positive results. I strongly believe that employers Correct subject-verb agreement
does
have
offer more care towards their Verb problem
should
employees
and that will, without a doubt, handle benefits for all people.Submitted by aalahmad387s on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To improve your task response, ensure you address both viewpoints more comprehensively and provide relevant specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on your paragraph transitions to make the essay flow more smoothly. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that links back to the main argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid structure for your arguments.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported with relevant ideas, which strengthens your overall argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!