IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The figures give information about economic growth and household expenditure across a range of categories. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The figures give information about economic growth and household expenditure across a range of categories. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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Given are two figures, show
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information regarding economic growth and expenditures of households. The first one illustrates changes in the economy concerning years, and the circle diagram, household
expenses
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the graph constitutes data on economic rise from 1995 to 2010. It contains numerous fluctuations between 1995 and 2003 and indicators from 0 to 2. 5. After reaching a result of 2 in 2003, it sharply goes up and peaks at its highest point of 4,
then
Linking Words
 dramatically falls until 2008. For the next two years, the economics of the house had rapid growth with oscillations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, all these economic changes were caused by the
expenses
Use synonyms
 of the family. Statistics were stable till 2005 because of the household’s constant spending routine.
According to
Linking Words
 a chart, it a decrease in 2005
due to
Linking Words
 increased clothing, entertainment, and travel expenditures.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, after those changes, the family’s
expenses
Use synonyms
 were normalized, and entertainment spending was minimized.
To sum up
Linking Words
, despite housing and food expenditures, there is a ¼ part of personal
expenses
Use synonyms
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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cause a destabilization of the economic state.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenses with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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