IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Your recently visited a store and didn't like the customer service there. Write a complaint letter to the store manager and say -What was the issue there? -Why wasn't the staff helpful? -Suggest what can be done about it

#store #customer #service #complaint #manager #-what #-why #wasn #staff #-suggest
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to complain about the services I received
last
Linking Words
 week when I visited your
shop
Use synonyms
 at Kotara. I have been a loyal customer of your
shop
Use synonyms
 since 2012. Recently, I went to your
shop
Use synonyms
 to purchase a microwave, but I waited for 10 minutes to get information regarding the new brand microwave.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, the store was not clear and there were a lot of cartoons on the floor, which may cause injuries to shoppers. I asked the
shop
Use synonyms
 assistant to provide me with the price of the materials I wanted to purchase, but he was hesitant to tell me the exact price. He was
also
Linking Words
 not polite when I requested him to advise me on the warranty of the microwave.
Moreover
Linking Words
, he told me to send another
shop
Use synonyms
 assistant who could provide full information about the material I wanted, but it took him more than an hour. I would recommend you give special training to your
shop
Use synonyms
 assistants in order to handle a customer in a good way.
In addition
Linking Words
, I would greatly appreciate it if you could write me an apology letter as I have been shopping here for the
last
Linking Words
 10 years. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Kora
Submitted by ttesfalove on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The letter is well-structured and includes clear paragraphs, but could benefit from a little more concise expression in parts to make the ideas stand out more clearly.
task achievement
Ensure that each issue and suggestion is explained logically and clearly. While the issues are outlined sufficiently, providing more specific examples or details can enhance the response further.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is formal and respectful, which is very appropriate for a complaint letter.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the letter is strong, making it easy to follow the sequence of issues and suggestions.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are well-executed, creating a professional impression.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: