The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given graph displays the proportion of
visitors
who paid a visit to four Brighton destinations in England between 1980 and 2010.
Overall
, the
number
of tourists visiting art
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
show examples
witnessed a significant decrease during the 30-year
period
.
While
there was an increase in the percentage of
visitors
going to
pavillion
Correct your spelling
pavilion
and pier from 1980 to 2010, the
figure
of people joining
festival
Correct article usage
the festival
show examples
saw a slight drop over the
period
. As can be seen from the line chart, the
number
of tourists taking part in
festival
Correct article usage
the festival
show examples
initially
was the highest at about 30% in1985,
then
the
figure
fell moderately
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
just nearly 4%.
Similarly
, there was a drop in the
number
of people visiting art
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the same
period
of time. The
figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
art gallery
visitors
initially
peaked at just more than 30%, followed by a sharp decrease to just 20%,
then
fell gradually to just below 10%. Looking at the chart in more detail, the
number
of
visitors
going to
Correct article usage
the pavillion
show examples
pavillion
Correct your spelling
pavilion
reached the highest point at just below 50% in 1995, making
Correct article usage
the pavillion
show examples
pavillion
Correct your spelling
pavilion
the most popular destination over the
period
, the
figure
then
dropped substantially to just about 30% in 2010. The percentage of pier
visitors
saw a fluctuation between 1980 and 2000
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
before the
figure
rose significantly to just over 20%
at the end
of the
period
.
Submitted by kelsey.aston.aie on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "initially".
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, number, period, figure with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

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