IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan from 1993 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan from 1993 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#unemployment #rates #uk #rest #europe #japan #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The graph illustrates information about the number of jobless
level
Change to a plural noun
levels
show examples
 in the
UK
,
Japan
 and other countries in Europe from 1993 to 2007
Overall
, from 1993 to 2007 the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 country that has jobless rate
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
EU
Correct article usage
the EU
show examples
,
while
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 slightly below the
EU
.
Moreover
,
Japan
Change noun form
Japan's
show examples
unemployment
 degree was lower
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the
EU
 and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
.
Thus
, indicating
Japan
 is successfully maintaining the nation's productivity
level
.
To begin
 with,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in 1993 had higher
unemployment
rates
 rather than
EU
Correct article usage
the EU
show examples
.
However
, as time
marches
Wrong verb form
marched
show examples
 on, the jobless
level
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
 decreased a lot
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
making it the country with
smallest
Correct article usage
the smallest
show examples
unemployment
rates
 in the
EU
. It described in 2003 where
UK'
Change noun form
UK's
show examples
rates
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 below the rest of Europe and
Japan
.
On the other hand
,
Japan
showing
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
a great productivity levels
Correct the article-noun agreement
a great productivity level
great productivity levels
show examples
 by maintaining the jobless rate not above 6 from 1993 to 2007.
Furthermore
,
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with the
EU
 and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
Japan
's
unemployment
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
 was the lowest except in 2003. But
then
, from 1999 the
unemployment
level
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 it higher than
UK
 in 2003.
Submitted by megyfebryanisyah on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words level, uk, japan, eu, unemployment, rates with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼

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