The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
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The bar graphs illustrate the proportion of males and females aged 60-64 in
employment
in Australia, Japan, the USA, and Belgium
in the years
1970 and after 30 years
.
Overall
, it is clear from the charts that men in Japan had the biggest percentage
, while
women
in Belgium
had the smallest percentage
. Additionally
, the men had a big
Fix the agreement mistake
higher
percentage
of employment
than women
in every country.
In 1970, the peak percentage
was Japan with 84%, but it decreased to about 75% after 3 decades. The less significant feature was Belgium
with nearly 80% and this
fell to a minimum point at of
just under 20% in 2000. Change preposition
apply
Moreover
, the USA with Australia had the approximately same percentage
at 73% in the year 1970, and like others, these countries' cents went down and reached 55% and 47%, respectively in 2000.
Japanese women
also
had the maximum amount of employment
with 43%, in 1970 and it went down a little bit and took a point at exactly 40%. The USA also
had a big number of employment
at 36% at the beginning, but it rose to 38% in 2000. Just like that, Australia's women
went up from 18% to 19%, in the years
1970 and 2000. Finally
, Belgium
with a minimum percentage
of 8%, in 1970 fell to 7% after 30 years
.Submitted by Kawasaki on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, belgium, years, percentage, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 3 times.
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