Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
for working
Change preposition
to work
show examples
has become viral these days. In my perspective, the benefits of moving away for
jop porpoesess
Correct your spelling
job purposes
outweigh the drawbacks.
Firstly
, the career pathway can be
devloped
Correct your spelling
developed
easily and fastly. People can explore more
oppurtinites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
and
chaese
Correct your spelling
cheese
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
, which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
toobtain
Correct your spelling
to obtaining
the much
requaired
Correct your spelling
required
skills
for promotions.
For example
, a young adult has a bare
minumim
Correct your spelling
minimum
of chances to
devlop
Correct your spelling
develop
his technology
skills
in rural places
due to
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
effecient
Correct your spelling
efficient
Wifi.
Furthermore
, people can gain
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
siginficant
Correct your spelling
significant
personal
characterstics
Correct your spelling
characteristics
. Stepping out of an individual's comfort zone
force
Change the verb form
forces
show examples
them to gain communication
skills
. The
indpandence
Correct your spelling
independence
and loneliness will
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their personality.
For example
, the bills
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
electrecity
Correct your spelling
electricity
, rent, and taxes will definitely teach the person
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
imprtent
Correct your spelling
important
skills
such
as time and money
managments
Correct your spelling
management
as well as
responsbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.
On the other hand
, Homesickness impact can be tough on some people. Working in another country or city means missing some
cermonies
Correct your spelling
ceremonies
and family gatherings which can eventually affect workers'
mood
Fix the agreement mistake
moods
show examples
and
then
preformance
Correct your spelling
performance
. For
instence
Correct your spelling
instance
, a father who is working
abroed
Correct your spelling
abroad
much
Add a missing verb
is much
show examples
likely
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will miss his baby's birth.
To sum up
, despite the disadvantages of moving for jobs
such
as homesickness and missing
a special days
Correct the article-noun agreement
a special day
special days
show examples
, the advantages like gaining
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new kills and jobs'
variaton
Correct your spelling
variety
will have
Correct article usage
a postive
show examples
postive influance
Correct your spelling
positive influence
on the workers'
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
and
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by remasalotaibi678 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Watch out for spelling errors, as they can slightly affect the readability of your essay. Consider using a spell checker before final submission.
task response
Try to elaborate a bit more on how the benefits specifically outweigh the disadvantages. Currently, the balance in discussion leans more towards the benefits without providing a strong comparison.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, enhancing the logical flow of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Consider breaking up long sentences into smaller ones for clarity and to maintain the reader’s engagement.
task response
You provided relevant and specific examples, which is commendable and strengthens your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your viewpoints and reiterates the main points discussed.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career advancement
  • job opportunities
  • job market
  • salaries
  • personal growth
  • cultural horizons
  • adaptability
  • resilience
  • global perspective
  • emotional and psychological impact
  • loved ones
  • loneliness
  • homesickness
  • support network
  • long-distance relationships
  • emotional strain
  • face-to-face interactions
  • financial cost
  • housing deposits
  • travel costs
  • living expenses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: