IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph illustrates the expenditure of British citizens on four different purposes of visiting abroad (holiday, business, visiting friends or relatives and miscellaneous) from 1993 to 2013.

The line graph illustrates the expenditure of British citizens on four different purposes of visiting abroad (holiday, business, visiting friends or relatives and miscellaneous) from 1993 to 2013.
#line #expenditure #british #citizens #four #purposes #holiday #business #friends #relatives
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart provides information about how much money British citizens spent on four different reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 visiting abroad : holiday,
business
Use synonyms
, visiting friends or relatives and miscellaneous, from 1993 to 2013.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 people spent the most on holidays and the least on
micellaneous
Correct your spelling
miscellaneous
.
Overall
Linking Words
, expenditure citizens spent going abroad for holiday had a wide fluctuation. It had a sharp increase from 9
billion
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 1993 and
reaching
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 a peak in 2008 with a figure of roughly 26
billion
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
. It slightly decreased afterwards to 24
billion
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 2013.
Whereas
Linking Words
, people spending money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 miscellaneous remained stable not exceeding 3
billion
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
.  Having a close look
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the graph,
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of money people used for
business
Use synonyms
 and visiting friends or family gradually increased.
Business
Use synonyms
 rose from approximately 2.8
billion
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 to 5
billion
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 during the period.
Linking Words
Similarily
Correct your spelling
Similarly
show examples
, visiting friends or relatives climbed up steadily from 1
billion
Use synonyms
pound
Change to a plural noun
pounds
show examples
 to 5
billion
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 which was the same amount as
business
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by wjddbs2206 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 72%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words business, billion, pounds with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: