IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph below shows the fast food consumption in various regions around the world from 1980 to 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the fast food consumption in various regions around the world from 1980 to 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph below illustrates the fast food
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 index
Between
Change preposition
Among
show examples
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
 teenagers in 42
year
 period from 1980 to 2022.
Overall
, it is clearly seen that over time, the
number
 of
hamburgers
that has
Verb problem
apply
show examples
eaten by
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 Australian
is
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
 100 per
year
 by 2000. Getting back to the details, a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 used to eat
approximetly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 100 fish and chips per
year
,
however
, after a bit of
flunctuation
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
fame
Correct article usage
the fame
show examples
 of fish and
pizza
was plummeted
Change to the active voice
plummeted
has plummeted
show examples
 from 100 to 40 just in 25 years.
Moreover
, as soon as burgers and
pizza
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 invented,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
burger's
Change noun form
burger
show examples
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 rocketed from around 20
pizza's
Change noun form
pizzas
show examples
 per
year
 in
Correct article usage
the 1980's
show examples
1980's
Fix apostrophe usage
1980s
show examples
, to above 80
pizza
Fix the agreement mistake
pizzas
show examples
 per
year
 by Australian
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the Line graph, from 1975 to 1985
number
 of hamburger fans had rocketed from 10
hamburgers
 to above 80
hamburgers
 from
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 Australian resident per
year
.
Further
number
 of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 had been slightly increasing till 2000.
To sum up
. The
Hamburgers
 and
Pizza
's
costumer
Correct your spelling
customer
show examples
 time had grown
cosiderably
Correct your spelling
considerably
 during 42
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
.
However
, Fish and
Chips
Change to a genitive case
Chip's
show examples
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 lost their interest
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
show examples
Submitted by berlinastanalll on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words costumers, year, number, hamburgers, pizza with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rocketed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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