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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph below shows the fast food consumption in various regions around the world from 1980 to 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the fast food consumption in various regions around the world from 1980 to 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph below illustrates the fast food
Use synonyms
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 index
Between
Change preposition
Among
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Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
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 teenagers in 42
year
Use synonyms
 period from 1980 to 2022.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that over time, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
hamburgers
Use synonyms
that has
Verb problem
apply
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eaten by
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 Australian
is
Wrong verb form
will be
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 100 per
year
Use synonyms
 by 2000. Getting back to the details, a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 used to eat
approximetly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 100 fish and chips per
year
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, after a bit of
flunctuation
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
fame
Correct article usage
the fame
show examples
 of fish and
pizza
Use synonyms
was plummeted
Change to the active voice
plummeted
has plummeted
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 from 100 to 40 just in 25 years.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as soon as burgers and
pizza
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
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 invented,
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number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
burger's
Change noun form
burger
show examples
Use synonyms
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 rocketed from around 20
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pizza's
Change noun form
pizzas
show examples
 per
year
Use synonyms
 in
Correct article usage
the 1980's
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1980's
Fix apostrophe usage
1980s
show examples
, to above 80
Use synonyms
pizza
Fix the agreement mistake
pizzas
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 per
year
Use synonyms
 by Australian
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the Line graph, from 1975 to 1985
number
Use synonyms
 of hamburger fans had rocketed from 10
hamburgers
Use synonyms
 to above 80
hamburgers
Use synonyms
 from
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 Australian resident per
year
Use synonyms
.
Further
Linking Words
number
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 of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 had been slightly increasing till 2000.
To sum up
Linking Words
. The
Hamburgers
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 and
Pizza
Use synonyms
's
costumer
Correct your spelling
customer
show examples
 time had grown
cosiderably
Correct your spelling
considerably
 during 42
Use synonyms
year
Change to a plural noun
years
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.
However
Linking Words
, Fish and
Chips
Change to a genitive case
Chip's
show examples
Use synonyms
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 lost their interest
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
show examples

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words costumers, year, number, hamburgers, pizza with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rocketed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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