It is a good thing for people in senior management positions to get a higher salary than other workers in the same company.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
For people who are in top management positions, they get paid more than other employees of the same
company
. I completely agree with
this
perspective because it will lead to positive outcomes for the
componey
Correct your spelling
company
. like increased order and productivity in terms of the
company
's efficiency and performance.
Addintionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, getting
salaries
should be
baside
Correct your spelling
based
beside
mannegers'
Correct your spelling
managers'
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
and talents. Offering higher
salaries
to top-level management can be a strategic move for a
company
to improve performance and productivity. which means that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
managers
are compensated fairly, they are more likely to
motivated
Add a missing verb
be motivated
show examples
to work harder and
altruistic
Change the word
altruistically
show examples
, they achieve better results
such
as increased
descipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
and production. when
company's
Correct article usage
a company's
show examples
manegers
Correct your spelling
managers
perform well and contribute to the
overall
improvement of the
company
in all aspects, it is not possible for
workers
to perform poorly and not carry out the tasks specified by the
managers
effectively.
This
leads to increased profits for the
company
and bonuses for the
managers
,
also
Rephrase
as well as
show examples
the potential for increased wages for the
workers
. The hierarchy for receiving
salaries
should be based on the knowledge and talents of
managers
.
while
there may
bev
Correct your spelling
be
workers
with skills and talent who are capable of receiving high wages to prevent them from becoming discouraged and ensure that their skills are utilized effectively in the
company
.
furthermore
, a manager who is capable of better management and has the talent to do so should receive
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
show examples
salary and has a
higrher
Correct your spelling
higher
position compared to
oter
Correct your spelling
other
employees and
managers
. It will provide an incentive for them to work harder.
For example
, companies like Apple, Google, and Microsoft often offer competitive
salaries
and benefits to attract and retain top talent.
As a result
, these companies have some of the most efficient and productive teams in the world. In conclusion, it is better that
top- level
Correct your spelling
top-level
show examples
managers
get higher
salaries
than blue-collar
workers
, and I am
agreement
Change preposition
in agreement
show examples
with
this
view because of the potential benefits it
bringsin
Correct your spelling
brings in
brings
terms of increased productivity and output.
In addition
, if the hierarchy of wages and positions is based on
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
show examples
and talents of
managers
.
Submitted by ghorabibita on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Revise spelling and grammar errors to enhance clarity.
structure
Develop a more structured introduction and conclusion.
examples
Expand on specific examples and connect them clearly to your main argument.
content
You addressed the topic and provided logical reasons to support your view.
content
Your essay contains relevant points discussing compensation and job performance.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: