Your manager is surveying employees' opinions about commuting preferences. It is the company’s 10th year anniversary and your manager would like to offer a gift to all employees. She would like to know if the staff would prefer to receive a free underground parking pass for one year or a free public transit pass for one year. Option A: I would like the one-year underground parking pass. Option B: I would like the one-year public transit pass.

After reviewing deeply the two options provided, I consider that the most convenient option for us as employees is option B, receiving free public
transit
for
one
year
as an anniversary gift, rather than
one
year
a free underground parking pass for
one
year
. My main reasons are:
Firstly
, bearing in mind that more than 60% of employees commute to the job through public transportation,
this
benefit will impact positively the majority of workers. Cost savings will be a crucial factor impacted by
this
initiative since employees could save on fuel, parking fees, and even car usage.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
the end, option B will foster not only people who commute by public
transit
but
also
car owners.
Secondly
, reducing the use of cars by promoting the use of public
transit
will decrease the carbon footprint;
thus
, the company will show their commitment to the environment through sustainable commuting. In conclusion, I strongly believe that bringing a free public
transit
pass for
one
year
could have a greater impact on all the staff and the organization. I am pleased to be part of
this
survey, and I will embrace any decision made by the company.
Submitted by mariajoser3 on

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task response
The essay provides a clear preference and supports it with logical reasons and examples.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, nicely framing your argument.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • commuting expenses
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable travel
  • physical activity
  • traffic congestion
  • travel times
  • dedicated lanes
  • priority services
  • vehicle maintenance
  • fuel costs
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