While some suggest the best way to combat climate change is by having a carbon tax on large corporations’ activities, others think that individuals paying tax on their own carbon footprints will have a greater impact. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
this
day and age, people have different views on how individuals should action to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming.
While
there are some good arguments in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of the view that the government need to increase the
taxes
in terms of carbon that
factories
produce. I would argue that charging
taxes
to people is a better option to combat climate change. On the one hand, there is a growing belief that putting
taxes
on industries emissions could be more
advantagous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
for several reasons. The first
reason
is that organizations have witnessed a significant increase over the past few years, which is the main
reason
for global warming
due to
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
activities.
For instance
, in
Viet Nam
Correct your spelling
Vietnam
show examples
, many
factories
have
reported
Add a missing verb
been reported
show examples
to be
release
a large amount of carbon
dioxine
Correct your spelling
dioxide
, making the
near
Correct word choice
nearby
show examples
areas less residential over the years. Another
reason
is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the enlargement of industries
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
the areas to cut down trees for
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
materials and to create
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
to
constructed
Wrong verb form
construct
show examples
factories
.
This
action allows the
atmostphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
enhance
Fix the infinitive
to enhance
show examples
in temperature, which is the main
reason
that
making
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
the globe warmer.
On the other hand
, I believe that charging
taxes
to individuals for their own toxic
substance
Fix the agreement mistake
substances
show examples
can help reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate change more significantly.
Firstly
, compared to
factories
Change the noun form
factory
show examples
emissions, individuals believe that human activities can
release
much more substance than the corporations'
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
For example
, in America, there was a report proving that the carbon
dioxine
Correct your spelling
dioxide
that citizens
release
was two
time
Change to a plural noun
times
show examples
higher compared to that in
factories
.
Secondly
,
vehicles
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicle
show examples
gas is considered to be more toxic than
industries
Change the noun form
industry
show examples
emissions.
As a result
, the summarize of gas that
release
Wrong verb form
is released
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
or
motorbike
Correct subject-verb agreement
motorbikes
show examples
around the world would
definatelly
Correct your spelling
definitely
larger
Add a missing verb
be larger
show examples
than
factories
. In conclusion,
although
both views certainly have some validity, it seems to me that people paying for
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
own toxic substance that they
release
would be better and more helpful regarding climate change.
Submitted by lahuyquan123 on

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task achievement
There are small grammatical mistakes and word choices that can be improved for clarity and precision. For instance, 'dioxine' should be 'dioxide,' and 'definatelly' should be 'definitely.'
task achievement
Include stronger and more relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. The example from America you provided is useful but could be more specific.
coherence cohesion
You should consider restructuring some sentences to improve the logical flow. For example, 'organizations have witnessed a significant increase over the past few years' could be more specific about what has increased.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your supporting details directly relate to it.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument clearly and provide reasons for your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon tax
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable practices
  • incentivized
  • behavioral change
  • personal responsibility
  • local sustainability projects
  • community involvement
  • collective impact
  • accountability
  • societal shifts
  • innovate
  • financial capabilities
  • technological advancements
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