IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

While some suggest the best way to combat climate change is by having a carbon tax on large corporations’ activities, others think that individuals paying tax on their own carbon footprints will have a greater impact. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#suggest #combat #climate #change #carbon #tax #corporations’ #activities #individuals #footprints #impact
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In
this
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 day and age, people have different views on how individuals should action to reduce
the
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apply
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global warming.
While
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 there are some good arguments in
favor
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favour
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 of the view that the government need to increase the
taxes
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 in terms of carbon that
factories
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 produce. I would argue that charging
taxes
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 to people is a better option to combat climate change. On the one hand, there is a growing belief that putting
taxes
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 on industries emissions could be more
advantagous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
 for several reasons. The first
reason
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 is that organizations have witnessed a significant increase over the past few years, which is the main
reason
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 for global warming
due to
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it
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its
show examples
 activities.
For instance
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, in
Viet Nam
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Vietnam
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, many
factories
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 have
reported
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been reported
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 to be
release
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 a large amount of carbon
dioxine
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dioxide
, making the
near
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nearby
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 areas less residential over the years. Another
reason
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 is that
,
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apply
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 the enlargement of industries
require
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requires
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 the areas to cut down trees for
it
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its
show examples
 materials and to create
place
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places
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 to
constructed
Wrong verb form
construct
show examples
factories
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.
This
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 action allows the
atmostphere
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atmosphere
enhance
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to enhance
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 in temperature, which is the main
reason
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 that
making
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makes
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 the globe warmer.
On the other hand
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, I believe that charging
taxes
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 to individuals for their own toxic
substance
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substances
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 can help reduce
the
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apply
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climate change more significantly.
Firstly
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, compared to
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factories
Change the noun form
factory
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 emissions, individuals believe that human activities can
release
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 much more substance than the corporations'
works
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work
show examples
.
For example
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, in America, there was a report proving that the carbon
dioxine
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dioxide
 that citizens
release
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 was two
time
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times
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 higher compared to that in
factories
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.
Secondly
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,
vehicles
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vehicle
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 gas is considered to be more toxic than
industries
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industry
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 emissions.
As a result
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, the summarize of gas that
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release
Wrong verb form
is released
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from
Change preposition
by
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car
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cars
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 or
motorbike
Correct subject-verb agreement
motorbikes
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 around the world would
definatelly
Correct your spelling
definitely
larger
Add a missing verb
be larger
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 than
factories
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. In conclusion,
although
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 both views certainly have some validity, it seems to me that people paying for
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 own toxic substance that they
release
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 would be better and more helpful regarding climate change.
Submitted by lahuyquan123 on

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task achievement
There are small grammatical mistakes and word choices that can be improved for clarity and precision. For instance, 'dioxine' should be 'dioxide,' and 'definatelly' should be 'definitely.'
task achievement
Include stronger and more relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. The example from America you provided is useful but could be more specific.
coherence cohesion
You should consider restructuring some sentences to improve the logical flow. For example, 'organizations have witnessed a significant increase over the past few years' could be more specific about what has increased.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your supporting details directly relate to it.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument clearly and provide reasons for your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon tax
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable practices
  • incentivized
  • behavioral change
  • personal responsibility
  • local sustainability projects
  • community involvement
  • collective impact
  • accountability
  • societal shifts
  • innovate
  • financial capabilities
  • technological advancements
What to do next:
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