The bar chart shows the top ten countires for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and make comparison where relevant.

The bar chart shows the top ten countires for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and make comparison where relevant.
The bar chart describes the top
ten
countries
for producing and consuming
electricity
in 2014. The
ten
countries
include Asia, Western
countries
, and Europe. The Top both production and consumption was China which had 5.398 billion kWh of production and 5.322 billion kWh of Consumption in 2014. The second rank is the United States which had too similar difference to China in producing and consuming at that time.
Whereas
, Russia had a little difference in both used and made
electricity
10 years ago that had only 19 billion kWh. The next
countries
from Asia are Japan and India,
then
Canada, France, Brazil and
Germany
from European
countries
. Korea Republic was the
last
country in the top
ten
rank.
Moreover
, the patterns of producers in China
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
the biggest country in the world.
Nevertheless
, From the third until
ten
rank Used
electricity
was low because they would prefer renewable energy.
In Contrast
,
Germany
Used
electricity
more than made it. It would be
deficit
Correct article usage
a deficit
show examples
energy
Change preposition
in energy
show examples
if
this
country didn't use energy wisely.
Thus
,
Germany
should distribute
electricity
be spread evenly. Because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Output more
huge
Fix the agreement mistake
larger
show examples
than input
so that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the government should make
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
to
over come
Correct your spelling
overcome
show examples
this
problem.
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
show examples
,
Distribution
Change preposition
in Distribution
show examples
among the top
ten
countries
,
Germany
has
anomali
Correct your spelling
anomaly
trend between production and
consumptin
Correct your spelling
consumption
but the other
countries
produce significantly more
electricity
than they consume.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words ten, countries, electricity, germany with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • megawatt-hour (MWh)
  • capacity
  • output
  • distribution
  • consumption
  • production
  • renewable energy
  • non-renewable energy
  • surplus
  • deficit
  • trend
  • pattern
  • discrepancy
  • regional
  • anomaly
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