In mordern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. 1. Why has this change occured? 2. Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Nowadays, people are having hectic schedules and progressively increasing day by day. Busy days
are often detached
Change the verb form
have often detached
show examples
the parents from their kids.
To give
Verb problem
Give
show examples
healthy and wealthy life
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
children makes a significant impact on their upbringing which makes them more resilient and close to friends rather than family.
Additionally
, making life easier cannot
reliased
Correct your spelling
relieve
the parents making differences with
kuds
Correct your spelling
kids
. In the
statring
Correct your spelling
starting
families struggle to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their needs. Everything become more and more expensive. To live a good lifestyle and get
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
from private schools
reliased
Correct your spelling
released
realised
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
to earn more and
soent
Correct your spelling
spend
spent
more time in the office rather than at home.
Submitted by harpreetkaur47354 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that you address both parts of the task. While you discussed why the change has occurred, you did not address whether parents should force their children to spend more time at home.
task response
Develop your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Provide specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a logical structure. Write clear introductions and conclusions.
coherence cohesion
Avoid spelling and grammar mistakes, as they can affect readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Keep your paragraphs focused on one main idea, and provide supporting sentences to elaborate on that idea.
task response
You have touched upon a relevant issue of modern-day parenting and its impact on children's time.
task response
The point about the cost of living and its impact on family dynamics is very well-noted.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: