The charts below show the percentage of Australian men and women in three age groups who were employed in 1984, 2001 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #percentage #australian #men #women #three #age #groups #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The bar charts illustrate the number of three age groups, 15-19s, 35-44s and 60-64s of hired Australian males and females in three

difttent

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different

years including 1984, 2001 and 2014. The data was provided in

percentage

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percentages

show examples

Overrall

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Overall

, people in

group

Add an article

a group

the group

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of 35-44 age were employed in the largest number

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

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with other ranges, successively

teenager

Fix the agreement mistake

teenagers

show examples

Correct article usage

the 15

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-19

age-group

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age group

show examples

got

works

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work

show examples

and the

leastest

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latest

least

number is the group of old people. First and foremost, the employer normally

hired

Wrong verb form

hires

show examples

men more than women in every

years

Change to a singular noun

year

show examples

However

, the employed

females

Change to a genitive case

female's

females'

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trend rose

continueosly

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continuously

continues

to increase sex equality, especially

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show examples

the middle

carreer

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career

age range of 35-44s, the

provied

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provided

jobs trends are 60%, 70% and 80%

respectivly

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respectively

Change the article

the year

show examples

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

1984, 2001 and 2014.

Moreover

, the hiring

Change preposition

of adolesence

show examples

adolesence

Correct your spelling

adolescents

for work was up trend, 15-19s

also

got hired upward to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

10% in 1984, 20% in 2001 and 40% in 2014

significatly

Correct your spelling

significantly

Submitted by juneyjelly58 on Sun Sep 29 2024

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

146 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The charts below show the percentage of Australian men and women in three age groups who were employed in 1984, 2001 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Some people think technology has impact on employment opportunities. Does this impact have more advantages than disadvantages?

Nowadays, instead of locally sourced produce, many supermarkets sell a variety of foods imported from countries all over the world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?