IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the percentage of Australian men and women in three age groups who were employed in 1984, 2001 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of Australian men and women in three age groups who were employed in 1984, 2001 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #australian #men #women #three #age #groups #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar charts illustrate the number of three age groups, 15-19s, 35-44s and 60-64s of hired Australian males and females in three
difttent
Correct your spelling
different
 years including 1984, 2001 and 2014. The data was provided in
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
.
Overrall
Correct your spelling
Overall
, people in
group
Add an article
a group
the group
show examples
 of 35-44 age were employed in the largest number
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with other ranges, successively
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 in
15
Correct article usage
the 15
show examples
-19
age-group
Correct your spelling
age group
show examples
 got
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and the
leastest
Correct your spelling
latest
least
 number is the group of old people. First and foremost, the employer normally
hired
Wrong verb form
hires
show examples
 men more than women in every
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the employed
females
Change to a genitive case
female's
females'
show examples
 trend rose
continueosly
Correct your spelling
continuously
continues
 to increase sex equality, especially
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the middle
carreer
Correct your spelling
career
 age range of 35-44s, the
provied
Correct your spelling
provided
 jobs trends are 60%, 70% and 80%
respectivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
 in
Change the article
the year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1984, 2001 and 2014.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the hiring
Change preposition
of adolesence
show examples
adolesence
Correct your spelling
adolescents
 for work was up trend, 15-19s
also
Linking Words
 got hired upward to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
10% in 1984, 20% in 2001 and 40% in 2014
significatly
Correct your spelling
significantly
.
Submitted by juneyjelly58 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: