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Band 5.5

The chart on the left shows the percentage of British adults drinking more than the recommended guidelines on at least one day in the week in 2004. The graph on the right shows the average alcohol consumption of children in England aged 11-15 who drank in the last week (1990-2004).

The chart on the left shows the percentage of British adults drinking more than the recommended guidelines on at least one day in the week in 2004. The graph on the right shows the average alcohol consumption of children in England aged 11-15 who drank in the last week (1990-2004).
The bar chart and graph both represent the
level
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 of
alcohol
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consumption
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 in adults and children in England.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is immediately apparent that men and boys drank more
alcohol
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. Not only did almost half of their population exceed the recommended amount in two
age
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groups
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 (16-24 and 25-44) in 2004, but boys
also
Linking Words
 remained above the
level
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 of the
alcohol
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units
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 consumed by girls in the fourteen years between 1990 and 2004. The changes in
alcohol
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 drinking habits in a weekly context among women of different ages in 2004 show
age
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 risen as a notable factor in losing interest in
alcohol
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, where approximately 40 and 30
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of them drank
alcohol
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 in younger
age
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groups
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 (16-24 and 25-44), respectively.
However
Linking Words
, over the following ages, the figures show just 20
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for the 45-64
age
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 group and nearly 5
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of women aged 65 and over.
This
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 trend is almost the same in men’s
age
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groups
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, remaining above 45
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the two first
age
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groups
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, which fall by under 40
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the 45-64
age
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 group and 20
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for 65 and over. The number of
units
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 of
alcohol
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consumption
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 saw a significant upward trend among boys and girls. They both started from under six
units
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 of
alcohol
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 usage in 1990.
However
Linking Words
, over the two following years, girls’
consumption
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 had remained at its starting point
level
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 before it started a sharp rise to over ten
units
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 of
alcohol
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 in 2004.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Boys’
consumption
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 of
alcohol
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 rose gradually in the first four years,
then
Linking Words
 surged by over 11
units
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 in 1998 and remained approximately constant above
this
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level
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 until the end of the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words level, alcohol, consumption, age, groups, units, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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