Nowadays, many young adults find the consumption of energy drinks as a reliable way to recover from exhaustion and stress. Is this a positive or a negative development?

İ
t
's
semi positive
Add a hyphen
semi-positive
show examples
and semi negative ı think. Because if ı am really look with perspective .
People
unfortunately
hasn'
Verb problem
don't
show examples
t
energy
Add a missing verb
have energy
show examples
always
for
this
reason some
people
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
to
drunk
Replace the word
drink
show examples
energy
drinks. İ
t
's
normal
Correct article usage
a normal
show examples
thing.
Positive
Correct article usage
The positive
show examples
sides
doesn'
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
t
much ı think maybe can be heart attacks. Because if food
doesn'
Verb problem
isn't
show examples
t
homemade generally contains harmful stuff.
People
are unfortunately wrong think. Food experts
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
energy
drinks
harmful
Add a missing verb
are harmful
show examples
.
Not
Correct pronoun usage
It not
show examples
only detrimental of course has
a good parts
Correct the article-noun agreement
good parts
a good part
show examples
. First of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
to energetic feeling for us. We are passed more comfortable a day. I don'
t
drink
energy
drinks but I don'
t
say completely bad
it
Change preposition
about it
show examples
. I would say it's not
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
but
likewise
Add a comma
likewise,
show examples
it's not
unhealty
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
.
People
used to comfort that's why they don'
t
know anything about
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
. They
are generally
Change the verb form
generally think
show examples
think
Add the particle
think to
show examples
comfort
himself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
or how can ı feel better
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
They never think
how
Change preposition
about how
show examples
can ı arrange
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
food. Ultimately they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
learn
to need
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to
good
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
look
their
Change preposition
at their
show examples
body. I am happy about
this
because our doctor all the time alert.
Finally
consume
Wrong verb form
consuming
show examples
energy
drink
Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
show examples
generally
Add a missing verb
is generally
show examples
not good. İ
t
has so many bad things within. Unfortunately positive
sides
isn'
Change the verb form
aren't
show examples
t
important
Rephrase
as important
show examples
Change preposition
as then
show examples
then
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
negative
sides
and
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
sides
so
Add a missing verb
are so
show examples
big. If we have a
big
Fix the agreement mistake
lot of
show examples
stress we have to go psychiatrist probably
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
solution
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is. I hope someday all of
problems
Add an article
the problems
show examples
consequently
will find
response
Add an article
a response
the response
show examples
. And ı hope
this strange things
Change the determiner
this strange thing
these strange things
show examples
disappear to
square
Correct article usage
the square
show examples
. Really we need to believe our doctors, our experts for
this
complicated
topics
Fix the agreement mistake
topic
show examples
we need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
real and true
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
.
Submitted by yaexar on

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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. Consider structuring your essay with distinct paragraphs for introduction, arguments, counterarguments, and conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Examples help make your arguments more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Focus on clearly expressing your ideas and ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, maintaining a logical order.
task achievement
You have acknowledged both positive and negative aspects of consuming energy drinks, demonstrating a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
You included a conclusion, effectively summarizing your perspective on energy drinks.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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