Nowadays, many young adults find the consumption of energy drinks as a reliable way to recover from exhaustion and stress. Is this a positive or a negative development?
İ
t
's semi positive
and semi negative ı think. Because if ı am really look with perspective . Add a hyphen
semi-positive
People
unfortunately hasn'
Verb problem
don't
t
energy
always Add a missing verb
have energy
for
this
reason some people
decided
to Wrong verb form
decide
drunk
Replace the word
drink
energy
drinks. İt
's normal
thing. Correct article usage
a normal
Positive
Correct article usage
The positive
sides
doesn'
Change the verb form
don't
t
much ı think maybe can be heart attacks. Because if food doesn'
Verb problem
isn't
t
homemade generally contains harmful stuff.
People
are unfortunately wrong think. Food experts says
Change the verb form
say
energy
drinks harmful
. Add a missing verb
are harmful
Not
only detrimental of course has Correct pronoun usage
It not
a good parts
. First of Correct the article-noun agreement
good parts
a good part
all
Add a comma
all,
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
provide
to energetic feeling for us. We are passed more comfortable a day. I don'Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
t
drink energy
drinks but I don't
say completely bad it
. I would say it's not Change preposition
about it
healty
but Correct your spelling
healthy
likewise
it's not Add a comma
likewise,
unhealty
. Correct your spelling
unhealthy
People
used to comfort that's why they don't
know anything about healthy
. They Replace the word
health
are generally
Change the verb form
generally think
think
comfort Add the particle
think to
himself
or how can ı feel betterCorrect pronoun usage
themselves
?
They never think Change the punctuation
.
how
can ı arrange Change preposition
about how
themselves
food. Ultimately they Correct pronoun usage
their
are
learn Unnecessary verb
apply
to need
to Verb problem
apply
good
look Correct word choice
apply
their
body. I am happy about Change preposition
at their
this
because our doctor all the time alert.
Finally
consume
Wrong verb form
consuming
energy
drink
Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
generally
not good. İAdd a missing verb
is generally
t
has so many bad things within. Unfortunately positive sides
isn'
Change the verb form
aren't
t
important
Rephrase
as important
Change preposition
as then
then
negative Correct your spelling
the
sides
and negative
Correct article usage
the negative
sides
so
big. If we have a Add a missing verb
are so
big
stress we have to go psychiatrist probably Fix the agreement mistake
lot of
only
solution Correct article usage
the only
it
is. I hope someday all of Correct pronoun usage
apply
problems
Add an article
the problems
consequently
will find response
. And ı hope Add an article
a response
the response
this strange things
disappear to Change the determiner
this strange thing
these strange things
square
. Really we need to believe our doctors, our experts for Correct article usage
the square
this
complicated topics
we need Fix the agreement mistake
topic
to
real and true Change preposition
apply
resource
.Fix the agreement mistake
resources
Submitted by yaexar on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. Consider structuring your essay with distinct paragraphs for introduction, arguments, counterarguments, and conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Examples help make your arguments more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Focus on clearly expressing your ideas and ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, maintaining a logical order.
task achievement
You have acknowledged both positive and negative aspects of consuming energy drinks, demonstrating a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
You included a conclusion, effectively summarizing your perspective on energy drinks.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!