IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

It has become very common for people to borrow money. Maby people have credit card, a mortgage and often they buy a car on credit card as well. Is this a good idea or this is too risky? Discuss both views abd give your own opinion.

#people #money #maby #credit #card #mortgage #car #idea #abd
The trend of
desuming
Correct your spelling
resuming
designing
dumping
 money has been normalised. A lot of individuals
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
credit
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
,
utilize
Correct word choice
and utilize
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 in order to become the owner of a vehicle
and
Correct word choice
or
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 a house. Depending on the ability
of managing
Replace the preposition
to manage
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budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
, these ideas can be either advantageous or disadvantageous. It is an undeniable fact that digital purchasing has changed the purchasing
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Back in the day,
while
 expenditures were limited by the money in the pocket, now, the only limit is potential income. In
such
 a context, by using
credit
cards
, it is possible to buy goods or services where needed, despite
deficit
Add an article
a deficit
show examples
 of actual money. These spending tools,
for example
, can be fairly handy in case of emergency. Since it is truly difficult to make financial assumptions regarding the future, having
credit
cards
 might be
lifesaver
Add an article
a lifesaver
show examples
.
However
, as the correct use of
credit
cards
 requires a particular level of financial knowledge, it may not be suitable for overconsumers.
Such
 people are not able to deter themselves from unnecessary
spenditures
Correct your spelling
expenditures
. Sometimes, corresponding to their mental state, they decide to go
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping just to make themselves feel better.
In particular
, buying pricey products is utterly dangerous for them,
such
 as
electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
 devices or cars. They are likely to face serious debt issues.
Consequently
,
credit
cards
 must be used in a way
that is
 carefully calculated. In conclusion,
while
 loan-based expenses can be crucial in difficult situations, they can cause compelling problems when they are made uncautiously.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear separation between introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion with appropriate linking words for better logical flow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support the arguments, particularly in explaining the advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Make sure to avoid small spelling errors and check word choices for accuracy to improve clarity (e.g., 'desuming' should be 'consuming').
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
task achievement
Both viewpoints are addressed, showing an understanding of the complexity of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economy
  • Invest
  • Future planning
  • Financial flexibility
  • Immediate access
  • Unmanageable debt
  • Financial literacy
  • Interest rates
  • Long-term impact
  • Good debt
  • Bad debt
  • Depreciative value
  • Consumer goods
  • Budgeting
  • Repayment plan
  • Emergency fund
  • Credit rating
  • Obtaining credit
  • Normalize
  • Advertising
  • Regulation
  • Responsible lending
  • Transparency
  • Financial agreements
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