The pie chart shows the percentage of males and females arrested in the UK from 2015- 2020 and the bar chart shows the reasons for these people's arrest. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#percentage #males #females #uk #bar #people #arrest #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The graphs illustrate The proportion of both genders who

Correct your spelling

committed

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

Change preposition

apply

show examples

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

arrested in British in six categories, drinking driving, public intoxication, breaking and

endtering

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entering

Correct your spelling

assault

assult

Correct your spelling

assault

, theft and

other

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others

show examples

over the period from 2015 to 2020

Overall

, From the first graph,

Firstly

, It can be seen that

Mens

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men

are captured by police more than

Womens

Correct your spelling

women

. The proportion of arresting

man

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men

show examples

was around

roungly

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roughly

three times more than arresting

women

besides

, In some categories,

Women

are

catched

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caught

show examples

cop

Fix the agreement mistake

cops

show examples

more than men. Looking at the graph more closely, It can be seen that 91

percent

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per cent

show examples

women

had not

arrested

Add a missing verb

been arrested

show examples

yet throughout the period.

Nevertheless

, The

Women

commiting

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committing

to public intoxication and assault

arrested

Add a missing verb

were arrested

show examples

more than men, even the highest rate of arrest ,

comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to others in both groups, accounted for almost 40

percent

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per cent

show examples

On the other hand

, The

arrsting

Correct your spelling

arresting

rate in all categories except public intoxication

were

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was

show examples

roughly equal to each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

at around 20

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in both

women

and men.

Submitted by yhj000801 on Thu Oct 10 2024

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Vocabulary: Replace the words women with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

161 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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