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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#amount #leisure #time #men #women #employment #status #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart below illustrates the distribution of free
time
Use synonyms
 based on gender and employment between 1980 and 1981. It is clearly seen that the leisure
time
Use synonyms
 never exceeded 85 and not below 38
overall
Linking Words
 categories . First, we can notice full-
time
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 employees have the lowest free
time
Use synonyms
 among others
due to
Linking Words
 their nine hours of working weekly and don't have
Correct your spelling
much
show examples
such
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 for fun .
Also
Linking Words
, part-
time
Use synonyms
 working females reached 40 of spare
time
Use synonyms
 which was almost the same as full-
time
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. Second , unemployed and retired were the group that had
such
Linking Words
time
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 for Gym, swimming, and reading and reached the highest that it had ever been.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least , the most interesting fact is that housewives only had 50 enjoyable times which is higher by 10 compared to full and part-
time
Use synonyms
 females.
To sum up
Linking Words
 , full and part-
time
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 workers had the lowest
time
Use synonyms
 to spend on themself than others.
Submitted by no123fm on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure time
  • employment status
  • full-time employment
  • part-time employment
  • unemployed
  • retired
  • housewives
  • gender comparison
  • notable differences
  • allocate time
  • trend analysis
  • work-life balance
  • time management
  • societal norms
  • economic factors
  • gender-specific trends
  • employment transition
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