Some people say that playing video games is bad for children in every aspects. Others saying that playing video game have positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There are two opposing views by other people; the positive and negative effects of
video
games
on young minds and how it affects them. In this
essay, I will discuss the two different takes and provide opinions on the subject of visual gaming.
On one hand, the pros of internet games
can help children with mind and body coordination. This
is due to
the movement of hands as the brain sends signals to respond to the situation. Furthermore
, one of its advantages is to develop sportsmanship in the youth. For instance
, a person who lost a game can synthesize their feelings and at the same time be happy for the winning team. As early as 3 years old the kid can be trained to deal with failure and achievement through the stimulation of virtual games
.
On the other hand
, the cons of internet simulation such
as games
can be addicting to minors. Additionally
, students who go to school will be distracted between their academics and leisure
activity of Correct article usage
the leisure
video
games
. For example
, during the popularity of the game Defense of the Ancient (DOTA)
the Filipino youth had a Add a comma
DOTA),
high-rise
of pupils who cut classes in order to play the game. Another disadvantage is the tendency to have an unhealthy body mass index (BMI). Replace the word
high number
For instance
, the person will have less time to exercise due to
prioritizing time for playing online games
. Continually, the result of this
less physical wellness will lead to obesity and malnourishment. For example
, in the United States of America, there are statistics that point to the rise of obesity due to
online games
.
Based on the different key points, I believe that there are more drawbacks than advantages to playing video
games
. Furthermore
, the negative effects are more serious and will have an impact on young individuals. I believe that although
video
games
can be entertaining a person needs to be responsible for their use as it has a lot of negative effects on children.
In conclusion, there are merits and disadvantages of video
games
for the young generation. Although
there are positive takes such
as sportsmanship and mind and body coordination aspect, the negative effect has more weight.Submitted by emmagallares on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both views on video games. To improve, consider delving deeper into each perspective with more detailed evidence or studies to strengthen your arguments significantly.
task achievement
Ensure that your key points are consistently well-supported with clear examples or evidence, enhancing the persuasiveness and depth of your response.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by organizing ideas more clearly within each paragraph. This will aid in creating a more coherent and easy-to-follow argument for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph effectively supports the main topic with relevant details and transitions smoothly to the next point.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, successfully outlining the two opposing views and indicating your personal stance.
introduction conclusion present
The essay concludes with a clear summary of the arguments and an articulation of your opinion, which wraps up the discussion neatly.
relevant specific examples
Examples like the DOTA situation in the Philippines and obesity statistics in the USA add real-world context, which can enhance the relevance of your points when more are included.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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