Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information such as their hobbies and interests,and whether they are married or single.some people say that this information may be relevant and useful.others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are differing views
whether
questioning Change preposition
on whether
about
individuals' details by an employer Change preposition
apply
while
applying for a job is needed or not.As far as I am concerned,personal data should be taken into account since it could enhance productivity
of a person at working platforms with the support of managers.
On the one hand,employees are likely to be harassed if the boss has all information regarding them.Knowing complete personal data Add an article
the productivity
such
as interest
,hobbies and marital status may Fix the agreement mistake
interests
creates
a list of drawbacks to the workers like abuse and discrimination ,Change the verb form
create
therefore
some might think it would be unnecessary.
On the other hand
,private matters paves
the way to Change the verb form
pave
get
Wrong verb form
getting
maximum
understanding Correct article usage
a maximum
about
Change preposition
of
member
of the workforce which is usually of paramount importance to gain preferable outcomes in a business institution.To be more precise,it is highly possible to receive high productivity from workersFix the agreement mistake
members
,
if the manager asks Remove the comma
apply
thorough
details about a person as it Change preposition
for thorough
is
often Unnecessary verb
apply
give
a framework to guide Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
according to
their situations.For instance
,an employer would make alterations in the schedule of a breast feeding
mother without any refusal if he already has an idea about it.
Despite the above arguments,I believe asking Correct your spelling
breastfeeding
one's
own matters prior to Change preposition
about one's
the
admission to a job is perhaps the best opportunity to get Correct article usage
apply
mutual
understanding Add an article
a mutual
within
each Change preposition
between
parties
.
In conclusion, confidential details of an individual Change to a singular noun
party
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
are being asking
during an application seem to be inappropriate for a job,Change the verb form
are being asked
are asking
however
I tend to claim that,it can support Add the comma(s)
however,
employer
to guide employees with some adjustments to gain maximum outputs,Fix the agreement mistake
employers
thus
it should be needed.Submitted by paanu95 on
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task achievement
Try to integrate more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments. This can help illustrate your points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. This will help improve the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that frame your essay effectively. This provides a strong start and solid ending to your arguments.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the task requirements and contributes to a balanced discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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