IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You live in a room which you share with another student. You have some problems with your roommate. Write a letter to the accomodation officer of the college to change your room. In your letter: *mention the problems you are facing *say how these problems are affecting you *request for a new room

#room #student #roommate #accomodation #officer #college #change #*mention #*say #*request
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Dear
sir
Capitalize word
Sir
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/madam, Well, I hope you are doing great. I am writing
this
 letter to discuss the problem with you which
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am facing
since
Change preposition
for
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very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 long time. I am living in a sharing
room
 with one of my
classmate
Fix the agreement mistake
classmates
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. He was very sincere in the starting days when moved
in
Change preposition
into
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this
room
 but after
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 days the problems started. He plays online games late
night
Change preposition
at night
show examples
 till 2 or 3 a.m and sometimes his friends come to our
room
 and they play
guidar
Correct your spelling
guitar
 and other musical instruments.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 they use my stuff without my concern. Moving ahead, because
these
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of these
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late night
Add a hyphen
late-night
show examples
 games and music
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am not getting proper sleep and that
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 my health and
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
to
Correct your spelling
too
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.
Last
 week
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 missed my two important
lecture
Fix the agreement mistake
lectures
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 because of these issues. I can not take
this
 anymore. I want
peacefull
Correct your spelling
peaceful
envoirment
Correct your spelling
environment
 in my
room
 that will not affect my study
as well as
 my health. Please help me to change my
room
 with someone else, so
in
Correct your spelling
I
show examples
 can focus on my studies and on my health too. I will be very
thankfull
Correct your spelling
thankful
 for
this
 act of kindness. Yours sincerely,
Submitted by karnmalhotra234 on

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Organization
Try to structure your paragraphs more clearly, separating different ideas to make the letter more organized.
Grammar
Be careful with spelling and grammatical errors which can distract the reader.
Tone
Make sure to maintain a clear, formal tone appropriate for a letter to a college officer.
Task Completion
You have addressed all parts of the task, mentioning the problems, how they're affecting you, and what you want.
Formality
Your greeting and closing are appropriate for a formal letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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