Employers should give their staff at least four weeks’ holiday a year to make employees better at their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Some people argue that employers should give their staff at least 1 month
holiday
a year
to improve their performance at work
. I personally agree with this
viewpoint because holiday
Correct article usage
the holiday
refreashes
their minds, and they can spend quality Correct your spelling
refreshes
time
with their families
.
At least four weeks
holiday
a year
helps to refresh the minds of the employees
. Employees
can spend this
holiday
according to
their wishes, and have a break from their hectic work
schedule. After a hectic year
, 4 weeks
break helps them to relax and take rest. They can do whatever they want for relaxation Correct your spelling
4-week
such
as going on a vacation or exploring a hobby. For example
, in Japan, one non-profit organization provides its employees
with 3 weeks
holiday
every year
, and most of the employees
go on a
vacation on that Correct article usage
apply
holiday
. Vacations help them to refresh their minds, and improve their performance when they are back to work
.
Moreover
, employees
can invest one holiday
in a year
in spending quality time
with their families
. Due to
their busy work
nature, employees
cannot spend enough time
with their families
. If they get 1 month
break in a Add a hyphen
1-month
year
, they can give time
to their family members
. Family members
miss their near and dear ones every day, and if employees
are given 1 month
break in a Add a hyphen
1-month
year
, family members
can spend time
with them. For example
, around 70% of employees
in Australia from numerous organizations have expressed that they prefer spending time
with their family members
during holidays because their family misses them when they are busy with their work
.
In conclusion, I agree that employees
require 4 weeks
holiday
in a year
. They can relax in
that Change preposition
on
holiday
, and spend quality time
with their families
.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples to further illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph ties back to your main argument to enhance the cohesiveness.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with a distinct introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and relate to the essay question.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite