IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Recent research has shown that within the European Union the largest difference between the earnings of men and women exists in the UK. Many equal rights campaigners believe that immediate action should be taken to close the gender pay gap. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#research #european #union #difference #earnings #men #women #uk #rights #campaigners #action #gender #gap
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart provides key information about
sales
Use synonyms
 of
games
Use synonyms
 globally like,
DVD
Use synonyms
,
CDs
Use synonyms
 and video. The units are measured in numbers.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that
CDs
Use synonyms
 are the highest selling items in all years.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 2000, the charts demonstrate that
CDs
Use synonyms
 have a significant impact on
sales
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
games
Use synonyms
 software had
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 tiniest effect at 10$.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the bar charts demonstrate
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 all years were
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
equivalent numbers of
sales
Use synonyms
. In 2001, as I mentioned above
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
CDs
Use synonyms
,
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest rate of
sales
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 the
DVD
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 a slightly lower ratio at 21 dollars. In terms of 2002, the
DVD
Use synonyms
 was slightly higher at 28$.
Then
Linking Words
 the
games
Use synonyms
 software has the moderated number of
sales
Use synonyms
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
19$.
While
Linking Words
 in 2003, the
DVD
Use synonyms
 was significantly achieved at 31$ ,
while
Linking Words
 the same
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
CDs
Use synonyms
 roughly at 33$.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
games
Change noun form
game's
show examples
 software was still the lowest rated at 19$.
Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion
Provide a clearer introduction that outlines the key points discussed in the essay.
introduction conclusion
Conclude your essay with a summary of the key comparisons and insights.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop each point with a bit more depth to enhance clarity.
relevant specific examples
Use specific details and examples to strengthen the analysis.
logical structure
The essay provides a clear description of the overall trend shown in the bar chart.
logical structure
The essay breaks down sales for each year and makes relevant comparisons.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: