IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Methods of transporation for people travelling to one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009 in the UK. The two pie charts compare five categories of UK travelling percentage of university (train, bicycle, bus, walking, car,) from 2004 to 2009) Units are measured in proportion. nb

Methods of transporation for people travelling to one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009 in the UK. The two pie charts compare five categories of UK travelling percentage of university (train, bicycle, bus, walking, car,) from 2004 to 2009) Units are measured in proportion. nb
#methods #transporation #people #university #work #study #uk #two #five #categories #percentage #train #bicycle #bus #car #units #proportion #nb
The pie chart compares methods of transportation for people travelling to university to work or study and shows their
percentage
 from 2004 to 2009. Over the period shown,
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 chart demonstrates that every
percentage
 of
category
Correct article usage
the category
show examples
expect
Correct your spelling
except
show examples
car
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 increased and used more than the
car
.
Overall
,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2009
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the proportion of walking,
ride
Wrong verb form
riding
show examples
 on
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
,
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 and cycling grew, but
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
a percentage
show examples
 of driving
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
were became
Change the verb form
became
show examples
 less than it was.
Also
, it meant
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 from 2009 more
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
/
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 preferred walking,
ride
Wrong verb form
riding
show examples
 on
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
,
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 and cycling and more than half of them refused to
drove
Wrong verb form
drive
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
car
.
However
,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 in 2009
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 way bigger than cycling,
train
Wrong verb form
training
show examples
 and walking even if they were
equaled
Change the spelling
equalled
show examples
.
Moreover
,
Correct article usage
the proportional
show examples
proportional
Replace the word
proportion
show examples
 of driving
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 in 2004 was the biggest in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
 with other categories.
For example
, in 2004 methods of transportation like walking, riding on bus,
train
 and cycling
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 lower than
car
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 3 per cent if they were
equaled
Change the spelling
equalled
show examples
 in one.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, car, train with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: