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Band 5.5

After Staying in a hotel in another city for a week when you got home, you discovered that you had forgotten something of value in the hotel room. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter, •Describe the item you forgot and say where you left it •ask hotel to send it to you •Suggest a way to pay for the postage.

#hotel #city #week #home #value #room #manager #•describe #item #•ask #•suggest #postage
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that recently I had a stay in your hotel yesterday and I
forget
Wrong verb form
forgot
show examples
my
Change the word
the
show examples
 most expensive thing in one of your
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
. Actually, I
forgot
Verb problem
left
show examples
 my diamond engagement ring in your hotel room. My room number was 205 and when I
leave
Wrong verb form
left
show examples
 your hotel I gave
keys
Correct article usage
the keys
show examples
 to one of your employee
girl
Change to a plural noun
girls
show examples
. I left my ring in the side drawer as I
keep
Wrong verb form
kept
show examples
 it there when I went for shower. The ring is very close to my heart.
As a result
 of
this
, Could you please send it to me back to my city because I live so far away from your city and I am a workaholic person so it is not possible for me to
reach
Verb problem
get
show examples
 there
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Moreover
, I will pay for it because it is an emergency parcel. Apart from
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
, there are other ways for postage either you can send it to me via speed post or I can tell my friend to pick
that
Change preposition
up that
show examples
 ring from you. I will give you the address of my home when you reply
me
Change preposition
to me
show examples
back
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. I request you to please take care of my thing as it is special for me. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Simranjeet
kaur
Change the capitalization
Kaur
show examples
Submitted by yuvrajsinghsaggu200703 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to provide a clearer structure by organizing ideas into distinct paragraphs for each key point.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid repeating similar words and phrases.
Task Achievement
Ensure to mention the method to cover the postage costs immediately after requesting the item to be sent.
Task Achievement
The tone is appropriately polite and formal, which is suitable for a letter to a hotel manager.
Coherence and Cohesion
The opening and closing of the letter are appropriately formatted, with a good greeting and closing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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