Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Advancements in technology have replaced the workforce with machines and
robots
since the 18th century. Use synonyms
This
process is increasing at a faster pace now which is causing unemployment because all the industries are approaching the method of Linking Words
automation
. I firmly agree with the statement and the arguments are presented in the paragraphs below.
In earlier times, Use synonyms
manforce
was a major part Correct your spelling
manpower
in
the industrial sector. It is shifting towards Change preposition
of
automation
because it will cost the company less than before. Technology has Use synonyms
cone
to a point where Correct your spelling
come
robots
Use synonyms
along with
artificial intelligence can perform highly skilled tasks. Linking Words
For example
, across the globe, doctors are Linking Words
getting
replaced by Verb problem
being
robots
where doctors are performing surgeries and operations. Even though it is a success for the scientists, it is costing the Use synonyms
employees
a lot.
Use synonyms
Die
to these technological advancements, people have lost their Correct your spelling
Due
job
as industries are investing in Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
robots
so that they do not have to provide monthly salaries. The perks given by the company Use synonyms
such
as medical assistance will not be provided to the Linking Words
employees
anymore. As an example, several Use synonyms
employees
were fired at a restaurant in Japan Use synonyms
becuase
the food was brought by the Correct your spelling
because
robots
Use synonyms
instead
of servers. Linking Words
The
pace at which today's technology is developing, a person who can control Change preposition
With the
the
Correct article usage
apply
automation
will be left with a job. People will have to learn how to command Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
robots
to Use synonyms
fulfill
their work efficiently.
In conclusion, I would like to say that I completely agree with the statement. Though it is not right to fire Change the spelling
fulfil
employees
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
automation
, Use synonyms
but
we cannot deny the fact that it is happening. People will have to step up their game and be perfect at what they do if they still want to have an Remove the conjunction
apply
earning
.Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
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task achievement
In some parts of the essay, there is a lack of detailed explanation or further examples to fully support your claims. Consider elaborating further on your examples, and introducing more complex viewpoints or counterarguments to strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
The structure is mostly logical, but sometimes the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to work on linking your ideas more effectively to make your argument clearer and more persuasive.
task achievement
You have provided a clear and consistent position on the argument presented and worked well with the structure of an introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a fairly logical structure with an introductory statement of your position, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. This approach helps guide the reader through your argument effectively.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite