Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#century #advances #people #workplace #today’s #technology #process #rate #unemployment

Advancements in technology have replaced the workforce with machines and

robots

since the 18th century.

This

process is increasing at a faster pace now which is causing unemployment because all the industries are approaching the method of

automation

. I firmly agree with the statement and the arguments are presented in the paragraphs below. In earlier times,

manforce

Correct your spelling

manpower

was a major part

Change preposition

show examples

the industrial sector. It is shifting towards

automation

because it will cost the company less than before. Technology has

cone

Correct your spelling

come

show examples

to a point where

robots

along with

artificial intelligence can perform highly skilled tasks.

For example

, across the globe, doctors are

getting

Verb problem

being

show examples

replaced by

robots

where doctors are performing surgeries and operations. Even though it is a success for the scientists, it is costing the

employees

a lot.

Die

Correct your spelling

Due

show examples

to these technological advancements, people have lost their

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

as industries are investing in

robots

so that they do not have to provide monthly salaries. The perks given by the company

such

as medical assistance will not be provided to the

employees

anymore. As an example, several

employees

were fired at a restaurant in Japan

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

the food was brought by the

robots

instead

of servers.

The

Change preposition

With the

show examples

pace at which today's technology is developing, a person who can control

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

automation

will be left with a job. People will have to learn how to command

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

robots

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their work efficiently. In conclusion, I would like to say that I completely agree with the statement. Though it is not right to fire

employees

due to

automation

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

we cannot deny the fact that it is happening. People will have to step up their game and be perfect at what they do if they still want to have an

earning

Fix the agreement mistake

earnings

show examples

Submitted by preetsmily9 on Thu Oct 24 2024

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task achievement

In some parts of the essay, there is a lack of detailed explanation or further examples to fully support your claims. Consider elaborating further on your examples, and introducing more complex viewpoints or counterarguments to strengthen your response.

coherence cohesion

The structure is mostly logical, but sometimes the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to work on linking your ideas more effectively to make your argument clearer and more persuasive.

task achievement

You have provided a clear and consistent position on the argument presented and worked well with the structure of an introduction and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a fairly logical structure with an introductory statement of your position, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. This approach helps guide the reader through your argument effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, prefer to take risks and think that change is a positive thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the popluation in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

These days, cell (mobile) phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?