Leaders and directors in an organization are normally old people. Some people think YOUNG leaders should be better. Do you agree or disagree?

#leaders #directors #organization #people

Some people believe young

leaders

should be better. Others suppose that young

leaders

aren’t good enough. It is widely agreed that

leaders

and directors

don’t

completely depend on their ages. There are some reasons that I truly consider better

leaders

don’t

rely on

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

show examples

: old

leaders

have more

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

show examples

, and young

leaders

have many

opportunities

. Let me start by analyzing the first factor: old

leaders

have more experience. With old

leaders

, they have a long lifetime.

Consequently

, young

leaders

’s experiences

don’t

as much as old

leaders

in many circumstances. Let me give you an example about my teacher, she has 20 years at work.

As a result

, my teacher leads my class with more discipline and always obeys the rules. It would be a pity if we

don’t

Wrong verb form

didn’t

show examples

consider the fact that young

leaders

have many

opportunities

. As we

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

know, if old directors have something wrong in their career, they can be left out easily and

don’t

have many chances.

Otherwise

, if young

leaders

are dismissed. they can take more

opportunities

because they have enough health and

also

a long life.

For instance

, my aunt

she

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is a leader of the marketing department, but she has made some mistakes in her job.

Therefore

, she was fired, but she made a decision to have a new job

instead

of retiring because she is young and has good health. From all

matters

Correct article usage

the matters

show examples

discussed above, I want to point out that a really good leader doesn't truly depend on their

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

show examples

. Because old

leaders

have a lot of experience and young

leaders

have

opportunities

easily.

Submitted by ngocthuykatie on Sat Oct 26 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument and that it transitions smoothly from one idea to the next.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider structuring your essay with clearer topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs.

Task Achievement

Clarify your stance early in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion.

Task Achievement

Develop each point more fully to justify your position thoroughly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frames the argument effectively.

Task Achievement

You provided specific examples which help to illustrate your arguments about leadership and age.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Leaders and directors in an organization are normally old people. Some people think YOUNG leaders should be better. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

the pie chart and the bar chart talk about different complaints types in different areas

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

(VMN)Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railway and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

many people like to wear a fashionable clothes. What is the reason for that, do you think this is a good or a bad thing?

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening?Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?