IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You have seen an advertisement for part-time work in a hotel for three months over the summer. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter: say what experience you have ask what the work involves enquire about work conditions

#advertisement #work #hotel #three #months #summer #manager #enquire #conditions
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I saw your advertisement, and I am writing to inquire about getting a part-time job at the hotel for three months
during
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
 summer. My name
Pramod
Add a missing verb
is Pramod
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, and I am a university student, seeking a part-time job to pay the next
semester
Change noun form
semester's
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 fees. In terms of experience, I have 6
moths
Correct your spelling
months
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 of experience as a cashier at a grocery store. I was
resposible
Correct your spelling
responsible
 for managing cash, solving the
customers
Change to a genitive case
customer's
customers'
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 problems and selling the products. I would like to know about roles and responsibilities related to the job title.
Also
Linking Words
 if any certifications
required
Add a missing verb
are required
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then
Linking Words
 I would be happy to
aquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
 them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, is there any specific uniform required? If so I would like to get more details of it.
Additionally
Linking Words
, I would like to know more about
working
Correct article usage
the working
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 environment at the hotel
such
Linking Words
 as staff behaviour, health and safety
precoutions
Correct your spelling
precautions
 and
nature
Correct article usage
the nature
show examples
 of the work. Thank you for your time and waiting for your
responce
Correct your spelling
response
. Yours sincerely, Pramod
Submitted by Darshita@8612 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear and consistent focus within each paragraph, possibly separating inquiries about job details and work conditions.
task achievement
Make sure to check for minor spelling errors, such as 'moths' to 'months,' and 'resposible' to 'responsible.'
task achievement
The letter begins with an effective introduction, clearly stating the purpose of the letter and your reason for applying.
task achievement
The queries about job roles and working conditions reflect a good understanding of what information is required.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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