IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan from 1993 to 2007.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan from 1993 to 2007.
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The given line graph shows the
unemployment
Use synonyms
 rates in three different groups: the UK, the rest of
Europe
Use synonyms
 and
Japa
Correct your spelling
Japan
show examples
, from 1933 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly observed that the
unemployment
Use synonyms
 rates both in the United
kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
show examples
 and other European countries gradually improved,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Japan was on the rise.
However
Linking Words
, it is interesting to note that
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
of in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Europe
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated but still
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crisis with the highest rates of
unemployment
Use synonyms
 on average.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1993, a closer look at the line graph report that the UK
aacounted
Correct your spelling
accounted
 for the highest rate of people being unemployed among all groups, followed by
Europe
Use synonyms
 at 9 and Japan at 2, respectively. It is noticeable that
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of
unemployment
Use synonyms
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
show examples
 gradually alleviated with
constant
Correct article usage
a constant
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 dropped at nearly half of its previous figures in 2001 and remained stable before slightly
rose
Wrong verb form
rising
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 in 2007. In
Europe
Use synonyms
, on
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, reached its peak in 1997 at almost 12 before slowly
decline
Wrong verb form
declining
show examples
 to just under 8 in 2007. Surprisingly, in Japan, it experienced
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
 but stable rise in 1999, skyrocketed to its peak at 6 in 2003 and dropped constantly to 4
at the end
Linking Words
.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, europe with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Unemployment rate
  • Fluctuation
  • Economic growth
  • Economic recovery
  • Comparative analysis
  • Steady decline
  • Modest stability
  • Broader economic challenges
  • Economic reform
  • Structural issues
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