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Writing Samples
Band 4

The comparison of the production and the consumption of rice in X country The comparison of rice and other food crops comsumed in X country

#comparison #production #consumption #rice #x #country #food #crops
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The line graph illustrates the amount of
rice
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production
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 and
consumption
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 in the past and prediction for the future,
while
Linking Words
 the bar chart gives information about how much
rice
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 and other food
crops
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was
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were
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 and will be consumed in a particular country.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
rice
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production
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 was smaller than
consumption
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 in the past, it is expected to slightly exceed
consumption
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at the end
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.
Moreover
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,
consumption
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 of
rice
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 has consistently been higher than that of other
crops
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,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it is considered to equalize in the future. Regarding
production
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 and
consumption
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 of
rice
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, both of them stood at 25
million
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tons
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 and about 40
million
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tons
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 by 1990. Yet,
while
Linking Words
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
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 remained steady until 2010,
production
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 grew markedly to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 similar amount of
consumption
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as
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of
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 around 40
million
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tons
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. After a decade, both
production
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 and
consumption
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 started to rise quickly,
predicting
Wrong verb form
predicted
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 to be roughly 60
million
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tons
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 and nearly 70
million
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tons
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 in the future, respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
, as for the second chart, other food
crops
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in
Add a missing verb
were in
show examples
 higher demand than
rice
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 in 1990 at just under and over 50%.
Whereas
Linking Words
rice
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 consumed
rice
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 experienced
steady
Add an article
a steady
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 increase over the next 30 years,
consumption
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 of other food
crops
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 dropped significantly to just over 25% in 2000 and roughly 30% after a 2-decade period, respectively. By 2040 ,
however
Linking Words
,
iboth
Correct your spelling
both
rice
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 and other
crops
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 are expected to constitute equal shares of
consumption
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, each around 50%.
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task achievement
Ensure consistent use of technical vocabulary and data interpretation. Consider improving conclusions to better summarize the insights from the data presented.
coherence cohesion
Maintain consistency in data interpretation, particularly in summarizing comparisons over time.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and detailed analysis of the data from the line and bar charts.
coherence cohesion
Logical comparison between rice production and consumption is effectively presented.
coherence cohesion
The description maintains a good structure and adequately covers both the past trends and future projections.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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