n many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#n #countries #people #work #move #friends #families #development

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Nowadays,

people

Use synonyms

from many regions are moving away from their

friends

Use synonyms

and their families in order to find a job. Despite

Change preposition

apply

show examples

having both merits and demerits,

this

Linking Words

trend has become more familiar in the modern era. In my opinion, I find

this

Linking Words

practice

Use synonyms

more practical and

this

Linking Words

essey

Correct your spelling

essay

will describe some of the advantages in

favor

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favour

show examples

of the trend of migrating to other regions rather than staying at home. To support my view, I strongly believe that it is important for a person to get himself out of

the

Change the word

his

show examples

comfort zone if he has to shine in his

life

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This

Linking Words

is the fact that you can not expect yourself to

be succeed

Change the verb form

succeed

show examples

in your

life

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without breaking the

shackle

Fix the agreement mistake

shackles

show examples

of comfort. In fact, moving to a different region helps a man to get enough

exposures

Fix the agreement mistake

exposure

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the real world which is not possible by staying with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

family or

friends

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For instance

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

show examples

person who is far from his family and

friends

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tend

Correct subject-verb agreement

tends

show examples

to become more responsible as he has some concerns regarding his family

life

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Also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

practice

Use synonyms

can help

people

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to prepare themselves for

som

Correct your spelling

some

show examples

extreme situations which they have to deal

Change preposition

with.

show examples

For

this

Linking Words

, they are always attentive to their

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and somehow they can manage themselves to cope with every difficulty.

Although

Linking Words

staying at home with families and

friends

Use synonyms

can bring some advantages to the

people

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like living a peaceful

life

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or having enough

supports

Fix the agreement mistake

support

show examples

, the main disadvantage of

this

Linking Words

practice

Use synonyms

is that they are not aware of the real world as they have no experience of facing it at all.

For example

Linking Words

, a family guy tends to become more timid and shy which

put

Verb problem

has

show examples

negetive

Correct your spelling

negative

impact on his

developement

Correct your spelling

development

of moralities and

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

capabilities.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, sometimes

friends

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can be a drawback

for

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show examples

developing

self confidence

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self-confidence

show examples

. In Conclusion, I

Verb problem

apply

show examples

totally

agreed

Wrong verb form

agree

show examples

with the notion that

people

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have to move away to get a job to boost enough

self confidance

Correct your spelling

self-confidence

and strong moralities inside them as the advantages of

this

Linking Words

practice

Use synonyms

are higher than the drawbacks it has.

Submitted by jisan.path1506605 on Tue Nov 12 2024

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language

Ensure proper word choice and pay attention to minor grammatical errors to enhance clarity and professionalism.

task

Attempt to provide more diverse examples to better support your argument.

cohesion

Clarify the connection between ideas with smoother transitions to strengthen coherence.

structure

Well-defined introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay.

task

Convincing argument about stepping out of the comfort zone to achieve success.

relevance

Strong focus on the main topic with relevant points supporting the argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

344 words

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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