The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were abale to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were abale to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.
The par chart
illustrate
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illustrates
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the propitious of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages
in addition
to English, in 2000 and 2010.
Overall
, the six categories experienced different trends in the time period, Despite
this
, it is crystal clear that
,
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apply
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the first chart almost same the
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in the
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the
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apply
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second graph
further more
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furthermore
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the highest
precentage
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percentage
in pars was
Spinsh
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Spanish
only,
while
the lowest was two other languages and German are similar during the period. As
par
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the par
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chart shows
at
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in
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2000 the
students
Correct quantifier usage
number of students
show examples
in Spanish was 30 whilst
at
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in
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2010 the
students
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student's
students'
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number has increased
about
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by about
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5,
also
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in
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the
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apply
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another language
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other languages
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the same thing in increase, on
opposite
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the opposite
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way
Frenchwas
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French was
in 2000
15
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by 15
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percent
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per cent
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,
however
in
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it
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2010decline
about
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by about
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5.
By contrast
, in German equal
the
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to the
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periods
just
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of just
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10 how can speak English very
good
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well
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. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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all the information was clear and easy to compare them.
Submitted by rihas89s on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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