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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were abale to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were abale to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.
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The par chart
illustrate
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illustrates
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 the propitious of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages
in addition
Linking Words
 to English, in 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the six categories experienced different trends in the time period, Despite
this
Linking Words
, it is crystal clear that
,
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apply
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 the first chart almost same the
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in the
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the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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second graph
Linking Words
further more
Correct your spelling
furthermore
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 the highest
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 in pars was
Spinsh
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Spanish
 only,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest was two other languages and German are similar during the period. As
par
Add an article
the par
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 chart shows
at
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in
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 2000 the
students
Correct quantifier usage
number of students
show examples
 in Spanish was 30 whilst
at
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in
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 2010 the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
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 number has increased
about
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by about
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 5,
also
Linking Words
Change preposition
in
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the
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apply
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another language
Fix the agreement mistake
other languages
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 the same thing in increase, on
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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 way
Frenchwas
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French was
 in 2000
15
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by 15
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percent
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per cent
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,
however
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in
Correct your spelling
it
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 2010decline
about
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by about
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 5.
By contrast
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, in German equal
the
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to the
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 periods
just
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of just
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 10 how can speak English very
good
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well
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. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 all the information was clear and easy to compare them.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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