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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph compares employment rates in three sectors of the economy in the UK, 2000-2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparions where relevant.

The graph compares employment rates in three sectors of the economy in the UK, 2000-2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparions where relevant.
#employment #rates #three #sectors #economy #uk #summarise #information #features #comparions
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The provided line graph illustrates the information about the rate of three employment sectors (public, private, self-employed) in the United
kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
show examples
 from 2000 to 2010.
Overall
, the
trend
 of
private
Add an article
the private
show examples
sector
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined
while
 both
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 and
self- employed
Correct your spelling
self-employed
show examples
 sectors
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluccuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
 but had
upward
Correct article usage
an upward
show examples
trend
 and
end
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 up
higher
Add an article
a higher
the higher
show examples
 position
at the end
. Considering
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
sector
, the
trend
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
gradually declined it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 in 2010 which was 20. The
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
 over 10 years was nearly 40.
In contrast
, the
trend
 for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
sector
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 rose from 40 to just above 50 between 2003 and 2010.
However
, it is evident that there was a slight decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the public
sected
Correct your spelling
sector
 from 2005 to 2006 but it did not
reached
Change the verb form
reach
show examples
 it is lowest. A gradual increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 employment can be
itentified
Correct your spelling
identified
 in
self-employed
Add an article
the self-employed
show examples
sector
 between 2000 and 2002 but it declined in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 year to its lowest position which was nearly 17
then
 gradually inclined
its
Change preposition
to its
show examples
 maximum point which was 30 in 2010.
Submitted by surangaprasad90 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words trend, sector with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rates
  • economy
  • sectors
  • agriculture
  • manufacturing
  • services
  • trends
  • increases
  • decreases
  • comparison
  • highest
  • lowest
  • economic policies
  • technological advancements
  • global market demands
  • patterns
  • decade
  • significant changes
  • abrupt changes
  • stability
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