The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.
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The bar chart reveals information about the change in portions of working males and females aged between 60 to 64 in four different countries in the years 1970 and 2000.
Overall
, four countries including, Australia,
Japan
, the USA, and
Belgium
were involved in the survey and there were so many variations in the rates of employment both in men and
women
. In fact, the rates were higher for men than
women
in that range of age. It is clear from the figure that in the case of male employees during 1970, the highest rate was 84% from
Japan
whereas
the lowest value was 73% from the USA. But, in 2000, the scene changed as only 19% employees of
that
Change preposition
in that
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age group were from
Belgium
, which was the smallest value for that time.
In contrast
,
Japan
was still the topmost holder of employment in the year 2000. From the second figure, it can be stated that 43%
women
of in
Japan
had employability in 1970
while
the rate was only 8% in
Belgium
at that time. Again, in 2000,
Japan
was the highest to employ
women
from that range of age and
Belgium
was still the lowest as the percentage was only 7%.
Therefore
,
Japan
had the most employability whether it was men or
women
while
the countries did not get closer to
Japan
.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, belgium, women with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment rate
  • Percentage
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Fluctuation
  • Gender disparity
  • Trend
  • Decline
  • Improvement
  • Variation
  • Noteworthy
  • Aligned
  • Comparative analysis
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