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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main fea make comparisons where relevant.

#show #percentage #water #six #areas #world #summarise #information #fea #comparisons
The provided six pie charts illustrate the data about three ways of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
 usage (industrial, agriculture, domestic) in six
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 countries.
Overall
, four countries except North
America
 and
Europe
, heavily use
water
 for agriculture,
while
 both North
America
 and
Europe
 use
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
 industrial operations. When considering
water
 consumption for agriculture, the highest
propotions
Correct your spelling
proportions
proportion
 of
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
 is Central
Asia
 which is 88%.
In contrast
, the least user is
Europe
 which is 32%. Both Africa and Central
Asia
 consume nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 amount of
water
 for industry (7%, 5% respectively).
However
, In
Europe
, the major
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 of
water
 usage for industrial works
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is 53%
while
 the consumption
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 North
America
 is 48%. South
America
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 the highest
user
Correct your spelling
use
show examples
 of
water
 for domestic
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 which is 19% and both Central
Asia
 and South East
Asia
 use only 7% which is
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 among other cities.
Submitted by surangaprasad90 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, america, europe, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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