The leaders or directors of organizations are often elderly people. However some say that young people can also take the lead of organisations or companies. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
In
this
period of globalization, many elderly people
are appearing as fuhrer In my opinion, young people
possess many abilities and skills to become the
puissant leaders in various aspects of industries,and Correct article usage
apply
i
strongly disagree with Change the capitalization
I
this
notion and my opinion will be discussed in further
paragraphs with a suitable conclusion.
Supporting my disagreement to
the given statement, Change preposition
with
i
Change the capitalization
I
frimly
believe that young force can acquire many achievements through learning newly updated that consist of novel ideas and solutions.
Correct your spelling
firmly
Therefore
among this
pollution, they involve high awareness as well as
better gramp
for expanding Al and technology in the supervisory system, they could generate intellectual techniques for leading
factories
Change the capitalization
Gramp
Moreover
, technology is becoming more common rather than past since this
way could promote people
's performance much more comfortable
and faster, Change the word
comfortably
that
young crowd could learn about Correct determiner usage
the
efficiency
of Add an article
the efficiency
this
approach.For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
the
Oxford students have investigated that Correct article usage
apply
young
public Correct article usage
the young
appear
Change the verb form
appears
many
inventions since their brains have more abilities to coordinate with technology.
Ultimately these Change preposition
to many
population
are more clever leaders rather than elderly Change the determiner
populations
people
.
Explaining some of the
Remove the article
apply
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
supprting
point supporting points Correct your spelling
supporting
in
against Change preposition
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
this
statement.It is true that older
community Correct article usage
the older
earn
many various experiences and even many valuable lessons of life that Verb problem
has
it
could affect on communication space of companies.Correct pronoun usage
apply
Moreover
some positive politics in workspace
like enhancing staff relationships through creating many events in the Add an article
the workspace
a workspace
last
months of the year that not only does this
way improving
the loyalty of the staff but Wrong verb form
improve
also
it can increase the flexibility power of personnel that
they conform Correct word choice
so that
from
their leaders in the best way.
In conclusion,the younger Change preposition
to
people
who have special talents for leading organisations, the government have to utilize them
in their industries.
I believe that Correct pronoun usage
apply
aforementioned
points strongly Correct article usage
the aforementioned
supporting
my viewpoint.Wrong verb form
support
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coherence cohesion
Ensure to develop each paragraph around a clear main idea. This will help in strengthening the logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas more cohesively within paragraphs. Use more transitional words and phrases for clarity.
task achievement
Your response should focus more on providing specific examples or evidence that directly support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph effectively supports your thesis statement and contributes to your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a strong introduction and conclusion, making your argument clear from start to finish.
task achievement
You’ve addressed the given task and presented a stance, which is a strong point of this writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.