The bar chart shows the percentages of the Canadian workforce in five major industries in 1850 and 2020

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

This

Linking Words

chart demonstrates the proportion of participation of the Canadian

workforce

Use synonyms

in five big industries in 1850 and 2020. There is a significant gap regarding the services industry in these years. In 1850, the services

sector

Use synonyms

had 33% of the

workforce

Use synonyms

share. But throughout

this

Linking Words

period, the amount in

this

Linking Words

sector

Use synonyms

increased significantly and rose to 81%.

In contrast

Linking Words

to services, manufacturing saw a decline in percentage by 2020. It lost 25% of

workforce

Use synonyms

participation and dropped to

last

Linking Words

place. Agriculture/Fishing decreased

similarly

Linking Words

to manufacturing, falling by 1%.

Also

Linking Words

, energy/water had 1%, but

this

Linking Words

sector

Use synonyms

lost only 2%, making it the least affected

sector

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the construction

sector

Use synonyms

experienced growth, increasing by 8%.

Initially

Linking Words

, there were three big industries that kept the main proportion of the

workforce

Use synonyms

. In 2020,

this

Linking Words

role shifted, and other sectors gained a larger share.

For instance

Linking Words

, in 1850, construction was in fourth place;

however

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

industry rose to third place.

i.nureddinnWed Nov 27 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words workforce, sector with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

▼

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

158 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The advent of modern technology has sparked a debate on its impact on social inequality. Some argue that the increasing range of technology widens the gap between the rich and the poor, while others believe it has the opposite effect, bridging this divide. Both perspectives offer compelling arguments, and a balanced analysis can help us understand the broader implications of technological advancements.
7.5
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, the debate about whether a second language must be taught at early stages of education has become popular. Some people believe that early exposure can lead to more enhanced neurological developments, which will result in better academic achievement, while others say otherwise. However, there are both pros and cons to deciding to do this. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons for the popularity of this subject and point out some associated drawbacks.
7.5
band
Health expert believe that walking is good exercise for health.howerver people are walking less nowadays.why is this happening and what are the solutions?
A healthy body is undeniably the most important asset for a human being. Although subject matter experts praise jogging as a prudent exercise to gain a healthier body, it has become less popular among the new generation. It is my contention that people spend the majority of their time eating unhealthy food and surfing on the internet instead of pursuing sports activities, therefore, this propensity discourages people from walking.
8
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
A number of packaged food and drink products have high levels of sugar. This leads to severely unhealthy causes. Sugary products should be priced higher to encourage people to consume less sugar. I partially agree with this statement.
7
band
Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
Modern technology has made a significant impact on the social lives of people, prompting the debate whether it has brought people closer or driven them apart. This essay will discuss both perspectives and present my own opinion.

The bar chart shows the percentages of the Canadian workforce in five major industries in 1850 and 2020

Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Health expert believe that walking is good exercise for health.howerver people are walking less nowadays.why is this happening and what are the solutions?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.