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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the top tem countries for the production and consumption of rice in 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the top tem countries for the production and consumption of rice in 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph provided above gives information about ten
countries
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 with the highest amount of
production
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 and
consumption
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 of
rice
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 in 2020.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
generally
Add a comma
generally,
show examples
 the cultivation of all
countries
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were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 slightly more than their
consumptoins
Correct your spelling
consumption
consumptions
, except for two
countries
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;
Germany
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 and Russia. In the case of
Germany
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, they used nearly 50
billion
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kWh
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 more
rice
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, its
consumption
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 was 582.5
billion
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kWh
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.
In addition
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 Russian
production
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 was equal to its
consumption
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, nearly 1050
billion
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kWh
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, Compared to
Germany
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, its
production
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 and
consumption
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 was double. By eliminating
Germany
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, the four
countries
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the list, Korea, Rep., Brazil, France, and Canada, had
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
production
Use synonyms
osscilating
Correct your spelling
oscillating
 around 500 to 600
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
kWh
Use synonyms
, and their consumptions varied between 450 to 550. Turning our attention to the
countreis
Correct your spelling
countries
 with the highest amount of output and
consumtion
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consumption
; China was the first country with the most significant
production
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; 5398
billion
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kWh
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. And its
consumption
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 was almost 50kWh less than that of output. Followed by
United
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the United
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 States,
This
Linking Words
countrie
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country
countries
 had the second position
in
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on
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 the list. In comparison to China, Americans ate remarkably less
rice
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, with 4100
billion
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kWh
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production
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 and 3866
billion
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kWh
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consumption
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. Japan and India stood after Russia, with
Use synonyms
production
Add an article
the production
a production
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 of 936 for Japan and 871 for India, people ate 856
kWh
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 and 698
kWh
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Use synonyms
rice
Change preposition
of rice
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 in those
countries
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 respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
, China and
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States were the biggest producers of
rice
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, and they were the greatest consumers.
Furthurmore
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Furthermore
, in
Germany
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 and France,
consumption
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 was more than cultivation.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, production, consumption, rice, germany, billion, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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