Band 7+: The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#band #bar #percentage #australian #men #women #age #groups #activity #summarise #information #features #comparisons

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The chart provides information about the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Overall

according to

the graph, most females in all age groups are more active than males, except in the 15-24 class.

Moreover

, women in the 45 to 54 club had the highest proportion, and males in the 35 to 44 class had the lowest proportion.

Firstly

, men had a fluctuating number, it experienced downward from teenager to adulthood in middle 40. It started from above 50% but tended to decrease under 40% in the maturity group.

Then

, the total of above 45 age increased to about 47% in the 65 and over cluster.

On the other hand

, females had the opposite trend compared to males. The total of females who liked doing physical activities improved from adolescent to mature life at 54.

However

, the percentage decreased nearly the same with men in the 65 and over group. The people in the elderly, both male and female did not like doing exercise or other regular physical activities.

Submitted by imeldarosari6 on Sat Dec 07 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

179 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Recently, the number of people who are doing cosmetic surgery to improve their looks has increased a lot. There are some advantages and disadvantages of changing the appearance.
7
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. You should write at least 250 words.
As the world is developing in science , so do diseases, it is very necessary for every individual to prevent them before they affect anyone. I will share some of my ideas and experiences to support my argument.
6
band
You visited local beach and found out that there is a rubbish problem. In your letter: Describe the problem How it affects people on the beach Suggest what you want to do about them
I am writing this letter to make you aware about the poor condition of beach. My name is Simran and yesterday I went to Wasaga beach with my family for the outing.
5
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Scientifical research has widely influenced various aspect of humans' lives. Recently, it has been a controversial issue whether this research should just concentrate on enhancing human beings' satisfaction. I completely disagree with this statement and the following essay will reveal my supportive reasons.
8
band
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
While some people believe that competing helps individuals stay motivated and strive harder, others think that cooperation should be prioritized as it can enhance effectiveness and create a congenial environment for work and study. Personally, since both perspectives have their own advantages and disadvantages, I believe it is optimal to foster both a competitive and cooperative atmosphere.

Band 7+: The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You visited local beach and found out that there is a rubbish problem. In your letter: Describe the problem How it affects people on the beach Suggest what you want to do about them

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.