IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

THE BAR CHART BELOW GIVES INFORMATION ABOUT THE NUMBER OF STUDENTS STUDYING COMPUTER SCIENCE AT A UK university between 2010 and 2012. Summarise the info by selecting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.

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The given bar chart illustrates the number of
home
Use synonyms
 and international
students
Use synonyms
 who
studying
Wrong verb form
studied
show examples
 computer science at the UK university from 2010 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is clearly seen that the
home
Use synonyms
 and international
students
Use synonyms
 both experienced an upward trend between 2010 and 2012. In detail,the number of
home
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 who
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
men started at 39, and decreased considerably to 24.
Then
Linking Words
, the figure increased dramatically to 43.In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of international
students
Use synonyms
 who
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
a men
Correct the article-noun agreement
men
a man
show examples
 started at 20,and climbed slightly to 23.The proportion
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
 up significantly to 39. Turning to the figure for
home
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 who
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
a women
Correct the article-noun agreement
women
a woman
show examples
 started at 33,and
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 steeply to 44.After that,the proportion increased merely to 45. Regarding international
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
a women
Correct the article-noun agreement
women
a woman
show examples
 started at 14
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and escalated gradually to 20 over the next 2 years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words home, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • breakdown
  • increase
  • decrease
  • stable
  • spike
  • drop
  • percentage change
  • overall
  • noteworthy
  • observations
  • main features
  • comparison
  • relevant
  • highlight
  • significant
  • summarize
  • gender analysis
  • male students
  • female students
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