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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan from 1993 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan from 1993 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#unemployment #rates #uk #rest #europe #japan #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graph depicts the number of
unemployment
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 between 1993 and 2007 in the
UK
Use synonyms
, Japan, and the rest of Europe countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, Japanese and the rest of European
unemployment
Use synonyms
rates
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 grew from their starting points at the completion of the time presented. The
UK
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unemployment
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, fell marginally. Looking in more detail, Japanese
rates
Use synonyms
 of
unemployment
Use synonyms
 accounted for 2 compared to about 9 for EU countries and 11 for the United Kingdom.
Although
Linking Words
 Japan showed the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 figure, it increased slightly in 1995 and remained stable until 1999 for 3 before
climbed
Wrong verb form
climbing
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 in 2003, reaching a peak of 6. After that, they dropped again with the final value of 4, showing the smallest portion between the three regions in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the rest of the countries in Europe skyrocketed, surpassing the
UK
Use synonyms
 at nearly 12 in 1997.
However
Linking Words
, they continued to fall from 1997 to 2003 before stabilising for 2 years and declining insignificantly
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
last
Linking Words
 period with just under 8. Despite the
UK
Use synonyms
become
Verb problem
having
show examples
 the highest
Use synonyms
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
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 of
unemployment
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 in the initial period, they experienced
Correct article usage
a gradually
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gradually decreased
Replace the word
gradual decrease
show examples
 until 2001, reaching 5 of the total. From 2001 to 2005, they remained stable before increasing
one
Change preposition
by one
show examples
 point
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 6 in 2007.
Submitted by nineband9s on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, rates, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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