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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts illustrate the proportion of population trends in Scotland in three different stages from 1940 to 2020. Overall,the ratio of birth and population growth is considered as a decreasing but it is vice versa for mortality.

The charts illustrate the proportion of population trends in Scotland in three different stages from 1940 to 2020. Overall,the ratio of birth and population growth is considered as a decreasing but it is vice versa for mortality.
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The line graphs represent the percentages of people who were born and died,
therefore
Linking Words
, the population growth
rate
Use synonyms
 between 1940 and 2020 in Scotland.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is
addmitable
Correct your spelling
admirable
admittable
 that the level of persons born is commensurate with the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deaths, but
this
Linking Words
 trend has been recently broken. To be
presice
Correct your spelling
precise
, both the birth and
death
Use synonyms
 rates accounted for about 0.5%
near
Correct your spelling
year
show examples
 to
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2020, following the increase in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of the individuals
died
Correct pronoun usage
who died
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 and the
oppisote
Correct your spelling
opposite
 effect
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 people born in Scotland. Delving into details, it can be observed that
Correct article usage
the Scothish
show examples
Scothish
Correct your spelling
Scottish
 nation has
drascitally
Correct your spelling
drastically
 decreased throughout the timeline.
While
Linking Words
 in 1940 the birth
rate
Use synonyms
 amounted to 2.5% and the
death
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 was 1.5% only, in the
last
Linking Words
 decade of the observing period the
death
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 exceeded the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people who were
given
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 birth. As for the population growth
rate
Use synonyms
, it
Linking Words
firstly
Change the word
first
show examples
hitted
Correct your spelling
hit
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak in
1950s
Change the article
the 1950s
show examples
, with just under 1.5%, but
then
Linking Words
 started to decline to 0 in
2000s
Correct article usage
the 2000s
show examples
. Interestingly,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
death
Use synonyms
 levels were low in the same year, with just above 0.5%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, death with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proportion
  • Ratio
  • Birth rate
  • Population growth
  • Mortality
  • Trend
  • Decreasing/increasing
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Family planning
  • Aging population
  • Longevity
  • Healthcare advancements
  • Demographic changes
  • Implications
  • Comparative analysis
  • Population structure
  • Societal values
  • Advancements
  • Evolving trends
  • Long-term impact
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