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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the comparison of time spent, in minutes per day, by UK males and females on household and leisure activities in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the comparison of time spent, in minutes per day, by UK males and females on household and leisure activities in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #comparison #time #minutes #uk #males #females #household #leisure #activities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The charts illustrate the comparison of time spent, in
minutes
Use synonyms
 per day, by UK
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 on leisure and housework
activities
Use synonyms
 in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 highly spent their leisure
activities
Use synonyms
 on entertaining communication
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 rather than sports
activities
Use synonyms
, and for housework
activities
Use synonyms
 both of them prefer to do cooking and washing,
whereas
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 least to
washed
Wrong verb form
wash
show examples
 and
ironed
Wrong verb form
iron
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 clothing and
women
Use synonyms
 in repair. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 their leisure
activities
Use synonyms
 on media-related
such
Linking Words
 as
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
, radio and video. Books become the second highest activity with
men
Use synonyms
 around 18
minutes
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 19
minutes
Use synonyms
, whilst least of them doing sport exercises. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of housework
activities
Use synonyms
,
women
Use synonyms
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 over 70
minutes
Use synonyms
 per day
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 cooking and washing,
following
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place is shopping, washing and ironing clothing, and
last
Linking Words
 with less than 20
minutes
Use synonyms
 to do
Add an article
the repair
show examples
repair
Fix the agreement mistake
repairs
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 spent around 22 to 25
minutes
Use synonyms
 in cooking and washing
as well as
Linking Words
 shopping.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, less than 20
minuts
Correct your spelling
minutes
in repairing
Change preposition
to repair
show examples
, and the
Linking Words
last
Correct your spelling
least
show examples
 popular activity is clothing washing and ironing with only 15
minutes
Use synonyms
 per day.
Submitted by salwaputrihardiyan on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes, men, women, activities with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "comparison" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Comparison
  • Household activities
  • Leisure activities
  • Average
  • Significantly more/less
  • Markedly more/less
  • Striking difference
  • Counterparts
  • Societal norms
  • Differing interests
  • Dedicated time
  • Household tasks
  • Maintenance
  • Repairs
  • Pursuits
  • Socializing
  • Gender divide
  • Traditional roles
  • Allocation of time
  • Reflects
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