A REPORT INDICATED THAT MANY CHILDREN BETWEEN 7 AND 11 SPEND TOO MUCH TIME WATCHING TELEVISION AND / OR PLAY VIDEO GAMES. HOW DOES THE PROBLEM AFFECT THE CHILDREN, THEIR FAMILIES AND SOCIETY? WHAT MEASURES CAN BE TAKEN TO CONTROL IT?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Kids between 7 and 11 spend
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
show examples
amount of their time either watching television or playing console games.
This
has been widely recognised and was stated in recent reports.
This
essay will delve in deep
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
analysing the the far-reaching consequences that these factors pose on children, their families, and perhaps
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society as well.
Furthermore
, it will all take into consideration probable solutions.
Firstly
, video games and television bring out harmful outcomes in various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ways to individuals of different age groups. Notably, increased exposure to blue light
that is
emitted through screens can cause hyperactivation in certain areas of the brain which in turn affects sleep and concentration.
As a result
, the recovery at
nigh
Correct your spelling
night
show examples
and the efficacy of their studies, which kids need the most, will both be substantially affected.
Furthermore
, families will have
harder
Add an article
a harder
show examples
job in trying to manage their day-to-day schedule.
Therefore
, spending many hours on
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
can impact
childrens'
Change noun form
children's
show examples
performance and health.
Secondaly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, These drawbacks can be easily prevented by limiting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to distractions. Essentially,
this
can be carried out by taking away devices 3-4 hours before
bed-time
Correct your spelling
bedtime
show examples
.
This
can reduce the influence of the rays and
consequently
boost focus.
Additionally
, spreading awareness among communities can augment the aforementioned strategy. To summarise, sitting for long before electronic devices can
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
distructional
Correct article usage
a distructional
show examples
impact on children and their community.
This
is why we need to control these
behaivors
Correct your spelling
behaviours
.
Submitted by tareq.kj on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: