IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#percentage #population #uk #amount #fruit #vegetables #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The supplied bar chart illustrates
Use synonyms
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of the residents in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 who consumed the recommended daily amount of
vegetables
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 and fruits in three various years 2002,2006 and 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,
female
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females
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 consumed
vegetables
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 and fruits much more than
male
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males
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 and
children
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.
However
Linking Words
, the
children
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 had the lowest
percentage
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 during the periods.
At
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In
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 the beginning, in 2002
females
Change noun form
females'
female's
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percentage
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 of consumption was the highest approximately 25%.
While
Linking Words
children
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 had the lowest
percentage
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 of it about 11%.
However
Linking Words
, the male
percentage
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 in 2002 was approximately the same as in 2010.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 2006
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 had
the
Correct article usage
a
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 peak above 32% in consuming
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vegetables
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 between populations.
However
Linking Words
, in 2010 the
percentage
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 dropped to 27 per cent. Meanwhile,
children
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 had about to same
percentage
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 (14%-16%) in different years in consuming the fruits and
vegetables
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.
Submitted by nurymbetova.aray on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, vegetables, children with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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