IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below show the percentage of workers in three sectors across four countries in 1980 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below show the percentage of workers in three sectors across four countries in 1980 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
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This
 chart demonstrates the
percentage
 of employees in Germany, the USA, Japan, and China who worked in three different sectors from 1980 to 2010.
Overall
, the highest
percentage
 of
workers
 were in the industry over the 30-year period from 1980 to 2010,
while
 the number of employees who worked in the agricultural field was the lowest over the same period. Around 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the
workers
 were working in the industry field in Germany in 1980, with a moderate increase in the
percentage
 in 2010 which reached around 81%
while
 in China, there is no change in the same given period
On the other hand
, there was a decline in the
percentage
 of
workers
 in the agricultural field in China in 2010 in comparison to 1980 In conclusion, The industry sector had the highest
percentage
 of
workers
 in Germany ,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and Japan,
however
,
Agricultural
Correct article usage
the Agricultural
show examples
 sector showed the lowest number in these countries
Submitted by ghufran.mahmoud on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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