The demand for online coaching services and video courses has grown significantly in the digital age. Some now feel this method of learning is a superior option to in-person learning. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The advent of modern technology has fostered several developments in many industries, where the education industry has seen the most prominent advancements.
This
Linking Words
has led to
Correct article usage
the believe
show examples
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
that remote learning is dominating over traditional in-person learning.
While
Linking Words
I
acknoledge
Correct your spelling
acknowledge
that distance learning has now
became
Change the form of the verb
become
show examples
an
intigral
Correct your spelling
integral
part of learning, I believe that in-person learning is still vital for effective learning. The rapid
advancemnt
Correct your spelling
advancement
of technology has fostered several developments in many industries. The education industry has seen the most prominent advancements and has led to believe that remote learning is
deminishing
Correct your spelling
diminishing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional in-person learning. I
am only partially agree
Change the verb form
only partially agree
show examples
with
such
Linking Words
optimism and believe that traditional learning is essential for
Correct article usage
the well-around
show examples
well-around
Correct your spelling
well-rounded
show examples
development of learners.
Submitted by ruchin27 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider elaborating on your points more comprehensively. You introduce the topic well and state your opinion, but the essay lacks depth in the discussion about why in-person learning is vital. Provide more detailed examples or explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Aim to reduce repetition in your essay. For instance, the first two sentences in different paragraphs convey similar information. Try to present unique information or insights in each sentence to enhance the cohesion and coherence of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.
task achievement
Your essay effectively introduces the topic and gives a clear stance, making it easy for the reader to understand your position.
coherence cohesion
The essay attempts to balance the discussion between online and in-person learning, which indicates an understanding of the topic's complexity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: