IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Five months ago, you started renting an apartment on a six-month agreement. You now wish to stay in the apartment for longer than the six months you originally agreed with the owner. Write a letter to the owner of your apartment. In your letter • say how long you now want to rent the apartment for • explain why your plans have changed • tell the owner about a problem in the apartment

#five #months #apartment #agreement #six #owner #rent #plans
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Dear Mr.Patel, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter because I wish to stay away long in your
apartment
Use synonyms
.
Fourthmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,I am now planning to go abroad for my higher studies and start classes next month. I have been living in an
apartment
Use synonyms
 for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 six months
due to
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 my classes have been starting for six months.
As well as
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 I
also
Linking Words
 want
this
Linking Words
apartment
Use synonyms
 because
this
Linking Words
 is
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 close
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 my
classes
Change noun form
class's
show examples
 place. My plan was to study in my hometown. But when I saw
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 students who went abroad for higher studies.
Hense
Correct your spelling
Hence
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,I changed my plan.
This
Linking Words
 is the best
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
apartment
Use synonyms
. But one tiny problem is the bathroom water pipe is leaking. That's why most of the water
wasted
Add a missing verb
is wasted
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. I hope you understand my problem and you will give
permission
Correct pronoun usage
me permission
show examples
 to
live
Correct your spelling
leave
show examples
 your
apartment
Use synonyms
. Yours faithfully, Mr.Shah
Submitted by shital20802 on

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task achievement
Provide more details on how long you want to extend the rental period beyond the initial six months.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clearer expression of ideas. For instance, rearrange sentences to enhance the logical flow of information.
task achievement
The letter has a polite and respectful tone which is appropriate for the context.
coherence cohesion
The opening and closing of the letter are well-structured and polite.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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